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David RaydenPenpusher
Posted: April 18, 20122012-04-18T12:55:04+10:00 2012-04-18T12:55:04+10:00In: Public

In the Post-Nuclear New World he helped shape, Professor hunt rediscovers the price of "Freedom" in the face of his nemesis and must choose to submit, or reboot civilisation.

Live Feed – Science Fiction/Action

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    1. 2012-04-18T17:00:45+10:00Added an answer on April 18, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      David,
      Interesting idea, but I have a few issues: Names aren’t necessary. Watch for proper capitalization. And lastly, clarity. Loglines should describe the premise, not try to tell the entire story. Never set up the third act as a simple choice; in this case between submit and reboot. Reboot is a very interesting concept. It has so much potential! The consequences of failure are self evident, as is the fact that your story will have a nemesis, therefore you don’t need to mention them in a logline. That Professor Hunt is an architect of the new world is great for the story, but best saved for the pitch or the synopsis. Think brevity! Of course I don’t know your story, but from what you wrote you might consider something like this: “When freedom is threatened in a post-nuclear world, a professor must reboot civilization.” Good luck, keep writing!
      –Doc

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    2. David Rayden Penpusher
      2012-04-21T00:22:43+10:00Added an answer on April 21, 2012 at 12:22 am

      OK. The nuclear part is post-terrorist nuclear attacks on the west, The middle east was wasted in retaliation, and India and Pakistan destroyed themselves. The world is divided into power blocks, and world citizens in these blocs are controlled by genetic screening. Hunt used to be an activist, but was also a genetics genius and helped screen for potential rage/criminality after his family were killed by home-grown terrorists. The world also has a “network” that controls everything, and *all* technology is fed through it. Hunt’s journey is one of re-awakening of his cynicism and discovery of just how far the people who control the information have really gone. The world seems normal, but in fact the people in power use and abuse that power for elite families worldwide. He is led on this journey by the very type of person who shouldn’t have survived the screening (maybe even hunt himself), and the irony is that this person has a better grasp on the problem than anyone else. Hunt has a choice: Keep humanity caged, or reboot civilisation with all the horror that would result.

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