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Callum.SPenpusher
Posted: May 20, 20132013-05-20T06:19:07+10:00 2013-05-20T06:19:07+10:00In: Public

In the year 3024, Anthony Shaw is a reckless entrepreneur living in a society where the less money you have, the longer you live. After hacking into the system and inventing an illegal money tracker, he becomes the only man on earth to successfully lose his living- Which makes him not only the longest living man on earth, but the most wanted man in the Universe. Anthony now has to abandon earth and uncover the corrupt system to have a chance at surviving ( I know its a very long logline, that's why i'm posting in here to gain some advice)(This would be one of many Films)

Pseudo

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2013-05-22T15:00:12+10:00Added an answer on May 22, 2013 at 3:00 pm

      I was going to make the “In Time” connection … with the exception in that film as people want to live longer, it makes sense that they would want to accumulate and protect their wealth, because their lifespan is tied to their fortunes.

      Your premise works on the reverse … so if you wanted to keep living, you could just give away all your money. Which removes any sort of central dilemma. If someone doesn’t want to die, they just give their money away. As cynosurer suggests, the central conceit is kind of baffling.

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    2. 2013-05-21T01:20:27+10:00Added an answer on May 21, 2013 at 1:20 am

      I was going to improve this concept but i’v just realized it’s similarity to ‘In Time’. So don’t worry aha

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    3. 2013-05-20T11:38:30+10:00Added an answer on May 20, 2013 at 11:38 am

      Length isn’t as much of a problem as concept. I’d drop the year (a thousand years from now they’re still dealing with money and hacking. It seems too 21st century which makes one question your world building skills. Not something you want from a logline. Drop the name – no significance and it too harkens back to an earlier time period (names evolve as well). So is the coinage in 3024 radioactive? Really need to drop that or explain it. I assume it’s a governmental thing. Is the money tied to individuals or family units? Could a person keep marrying the filthy rich and stay poor or is trophy bride a ‘living’? He has no problem hacking the system from earth but must leave earth to uncover it? Maybe uncover is the wrong word?

      Conceptually, I just can’t wrap my head around this logline/film. Sorry. But I hope my comments help.

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    4. Callum.S Penpusher
      2013-05-20T06:20:14+10:00Added an answer on May 20, 2013 at 6:20 am

      If anybody wants further information i’d be happy to give a full synopsis.

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