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In a fabled land, a bounty hunter must find a sacred artifact to resurrect his late lover before the crown?s inquisitor does.
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Libari,
I consider my suggestion “before the crown’s inquisitors do” to be dangling out there,? an incomplete sentence for you to finish.? I don’t know enough about your story to know why the inquisitor must find it, too.? ?All I know? is it makes for better drama if they both? MUST have the same thing.
Either the artifact is a general wish-granting object (like? Aladdin’s lamp) or it is only good for one purpose, to raise the dead.? If it’s the latter, then who would the inquisitor want to resurrect?
Well, the most obvious candidate would be the king the bounty hunter killed.? So he can wreak revenge on the bounty hunter.?
Here’s another option: a tickling clock on the power of the artifact.? It can only resurrect the dead within X number of hours or days (not many).
Both the true love and the king could have been killed around the same time, say in the same battle.? So both the protagonist and antagonist are racing against time to resurrect their preferred person.
But it seems to me that there would need to be a bigger pay off for the inquisitor than having the king avenge his own death.? What’s in it for inquisitor?? What’s his selfish agenda?? What makes the king’s death a personal offense, not just a legal one?? ?Why did the bounty killer kill the king in the first place?? What did the inquisitor lose by the king’s death?? What does he stand to gain personally by resurrecting him?? What does he stand to gain personally by killing the bounty hunter?
I’m just spit balling.? My takeaway is that the king’s death in the past (back story) is of dramatic import to the degree it comes back to haunt the protagonist in the present tense of the plot.
FWIW
Richiev to the rescue with a useful tip? about using “teams with” !
Libari,
What about something along the line of:
In a fabled land, a bounty hunter must find a sacred artifact to resurrect his late lover before the crown?s inquisitor does.
A plot is enhanced when both the protagonist and antagonist are fighting? for the same goal, aka: the McGuffin principle, as articulated by Alfred Hitchcock.? The inquisitors could be out to kill him, too, but the common objective goal driving both of them is the grand prize of the artifact.
However, for that to work, the inquisitor would also desperately need to possess the artifact for some evil purpose.? Not just to deprive the bounty hunter.? ?Whatever that may be, my point is that it’s important the antagonist have as much skin in the game in possessing the artifact as does the protagonist.
It would also? intensify dramatic tension if the inquisitor is implicated in the murderer of the bounty hunter’s late lover.
fwiw
Confusing.? Does this refer to? two characters?? Or does this refer to one and the same character?? If the latter, then for the logline select the one term most relevant to the plot.? Also, it’s not clear what, if anything, the artifacts have to do with resurrecting the lover.? Are the artifacts needed to resurrect the lover?? Or is that another task?? And if they are separate task-goals, which one is the more important?
A logline should describe a plot.? And? plot concern the pursuit of a single, primary objective goal?? So what’s the single, primary objective goal?? Whatever it is, that’s the only one relevant to the logline.
fwiw
It would be better if they had a specific wish. Because a wish, or the granting of a desire is just a means to an end.
For instance, finding a land that grants wishes so he can bring his dead wife back to life would be specific.
In other words, what specifically is driving the lead character to find the land.