Posted: 2013-06-20T06:40:48+10:00 In:

Sex , psychism and cigarettes. Oh my. A small town, southern girl migrates to the big city where she meets two professional women and begins a ritual of food, friendship, and betrayal; but when sudden memories of her past arise, she struggles to decide the best path to redemption.

Sugar and Shopping and Other Novel Addictions

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    4 Reviews

    1. Logliner

      Hi

      What’s the i.i that spurs on the change/journey? (Inner and outer conflicts come across very vague. Give us details)
      “A woman”…that can be anyone. Give us some characteristics, what’s her occupation, her flaws, goals, an Antagonist/obstacles etc.

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    2. Still working on it. Thank you

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    3. Samurai

      HI phoenixx50,

      Pretty much what Andrew said —

      It reads a bit like a tagline as opposed to a logline — to avoid that it’s a good idea to reveal specific events that propel the characters through the story, as well as specifics about the characters (or character) so we the readers know who this story is about and what they have to do; i.e. state WHO these woman are (High School Teachers/ High School Clique now all grown-up/ Neighbors/ etc etc etc…) and what the main issue IS:

      “Three young professional woman, a former High School clique, reunite after the death of their undeclared leader, and help each other through their own addictions to deal with each others grief.”

      …nqr… but I hope that helps…

      Best of luck.

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    4. Thank you. It does.

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