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nelsonpants
Posted: May 23, 20132013-05-23T23:23:39+10:00 2013-05-23T23:23:39+10:00In: Public

The new kid in town is eager to impress the two friends she just made, and tells them wild tales of her four guardians when the latter were hell-raising young women: Stories of murder, bank robberies, and other mayhem.

The Gun Moll Gang

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    1. alexmoreno Penpusher
      2013-05-27T10:03:13+10:00Added an answer on May 27, 2013 at 10:03 am

      I think your logline could be improved if you added “stakes” to the storytelling; example
      “When a new kid in town reels off facinating tales about her guradians, the impressionable audience report her to the authorities.”
      Or something along that theme- add a dimension to the consequences of the stories (maybe the stories are real and give clues to some old, unexplained event in the lives of the towns folk). I’ve no idea what your script is about so I’m just shooting ideas off here…

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