Jake moves into a new house and falls in love with the mysterious Brenda who has a dark secret that Jake is determined to discover while he tries to convince his reluctant mother of Brenda\'s existence. /Amanda

Hi,

A few points. Firstly try not to use character names. You can say “when a man…”.

Some questions your logline made me ask are:

Why does the mom not believe this woman exists?
Is the woman a ghost or his imagination?
Is this a supernatural/horror film?

Also, while some ambiguity might be ok, I’m not really sure what your film is going to be about. Your logline should sum up the story – the hero, their goal and desired outcome.

When a man moves in with a mysterious woman he must … Or risk …

I hope this helps.

Good luck