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sloanpetersonLogliner
Posted: September 19, 20152015-09-19T07:36:07+10:00 2015-09-19T07:36:07+10:00In: Comedy

When a disheartened pastor?s one-time love turned wild celebrity whirls back into his small town, he falls for her, not knowing if she will be his ruin or his revival.

Jessa Bell

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Key Payton Logliner
      2015-09-25T09:03:22+10:00Added an answer on September 25, 2015 at 9:03 am

      I agree with steveylang that this has rom-com potential. Here’s my suggested version:
      ?When a disheartened pastor’s small town is ?graced? by the return of his one-time-lover-now-turned-major-celebrity, he must?struggle?between his still-strong attraction, what he thinks best for?the community, and how the Lord might still move in mysterious ways.?

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    2. steveylang Samurai
      2015-09-25T02:33:40+10:00Added an answer on September 25, 2015 at 2:33 am

      This is interesting.

      It’s missing a bit of what he actually does in the main storyline. Is their some main plot going on in the story world, besides him getting involved with the girl again? Also, I’m not sure if ‘disheartened’ is the right word, it’s descriptive but vague as well.

      I’m going to guess that the celebrity sort of re-ignites his passion for life as well as his calling to God, but also jeopardizes his reputation and livelihood as well, which is a very?nice?classic setup for a romance or rom-com. But we’re not quite getting the clear picture?in the log line.

      I think this story could really work.

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    3. FFF Mentor
      2015-09-21T18:16:54+10:00Added an answer on September 21, 2015 at 6:16 pm

      Hello,
      “not knowing if she will be his ruin or his revival” doen’s mean anything valuable in a logline, you should try to tell what happens.

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    4. Karel Segers Logliner
      2015-09-21T10:58:13+10:00Added an answer on September 21, 2015 at 10:58 am

      Hi Sloan,

      As you can see, I swapped the logline and the title.

      Sorry if this wasn’t clear in the “Post A Logline” form. We’re working on that.

      Cheers,

      Karel

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