Kole Owen is a second generation champion wrestler who after his father’s death discovers his father’s whole other family; a new sister and a bi-racial autistic toddler half brother.
AnonMissLogliner
Kole Owen is a second generation champion wrestler who after his father’s death discovers his father’s whole other family; a new sister and a bi-racial autistic toddler half brother.
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I like that whole new dilemma. Now, I know the direction to take this. ?this was such a tremendous help.
I like Richiev’s suggestion,?and I think the story would be even?stronger if the wrestler doesn’t just want the estate — he needs it to have the money to ?fulfill his dreams for?a wrestling career. So when he? sympathizes ?and bonds with his half-siblings, he finds himself on the horns of a?genuine ?dilemma:? he must choose between his biggest dream — and his biggest need.
How about this:
“When he discovers his deceased father had a second family, a wrestling champion fights for his fathers estate but complications arise when he begins to get to know his step family.”
At first he is driven by his anger and wants to fight for the entirety of the estate ?out of spite. As he comes to know this other family and their hardships he begins to see his father’s justification was nothing short of noble. ?He finds himself driven to continue his father’s legacy.
What DPG said.
The story starts after the discovery, so what is it he does once he finds out about the other half?
Secondly the character description is too long best to shorten it to; A wrestler. His father’s wrestling achievements and even his own are mostly irrelevant to the logline, what is relevant is his job and flaw descriptions. We know he is a wrestler but now what is his major character flaw? As this is a family drama the action would be limited and the setting quite contained. The main character’s inner journey can help make this a compelling story, so him overcoming his flaw will add an element of interest.
The story hook is that after his father’s death, a son discovers his father sired another family.? It constitutes the inciting incident? in or by the end of the 1st Act — the Big Discovery that sets the story in motion.
And it’s a good hook.? But…
What’s the plot that arises from?this inciting incident?? What’s the 2nd Act –the bulk of the movie –about?? As a result of the shocking discovery, what becomes the man’s his objective goal?? What, ultimately, is at stake? ?(For example, is there a? threat of an ugly and costly court fight over the estate?)
Also: there’s no need to name the character. Roles, defining characteristics and/or flaws are more important to a logline than a name –?unless the story is based on a real person, famous or notorious, someone the logline reader might recognize.? Like Abraham Lincoln, Queen Elizabeth, Al Capone, Marilyn Monroe.