THE FUDGE KING
sterling scriptsPenpusher
Larry Anglestand, the "Fudge King" is brutally murdered for his homosexuality and opposition to the archaic Blue Laws governing the town.
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Hi, your logline tells us what happens in your film – Larry gets murdered for being gay. It doesn’t tell us the story though.
Who is the person that kills him, why them? Sure he was gay and he opposed anti gay laws but who is angry enough to murder him as a result? Does he die a hero or is his fight in vain?
Hello. Thanks for your comment. My view of log lines is that they must attract the reader to go further…to read the synopsis and then hopefully to read the script. If Nike’s log line is “do it”, that’s all you need to know. I don’t believe that a log line should tell you the story. Log lines are gimmics to get you involved. Some of the questions get answered in the synop and of course the rest should be evident in the script. The Fudge King is based on a true unsolved murder that has circumstances which are almost unbelievable. No, Larry does not die a hero. He was gotten rid of. The town is still haunted by this murder because it involved all the important figures governing the place. The truth is that Larry was killed for threatening to reveal things and I could get the same…I’m not kidding.
Homosexuals have been the victims of murder again… and again… and again (unfortunately) for their sexual orientation, and other reasons.
The question I have as a reader is: what distinguishes this personal tragedy from others? What is there about the victim and/or the events that is so compelling a team of people would want to invest the money and time to make a film out of the script?
the year, 1964, separates this script from others that might be similar, although i would find that hard to believe considering the circumstances to this real crime, and the fact that homosexual activity was AGAINST THE LAW. and, that the city officials, who enforced the laws, were some of his lovers. and, that a cop, no less, was assigned to have sex with larry in order to trap him in a sexual encounter. the cop and larry went to trial. cop innocent – cause he was “on duty.” larry guilty. larry was also against the blue laws, which were religious laws governing the town. mix religion, politics, and queers – you get murder. and that the trial was fixed…one witness had a lobotomy, one converted to being a muslim to avoid testifying. the cop who had sex with larry went on to rule the town for 30 years. come on…besides…MANY SUBJECTS ARE DONE ” again…and again…and again” in the film world. this script is part of a trilogy and the ones that follow are also strange and unsolved. i’ve created a female cop to solve the crimes… being that women were not allowed to do anything much in the 60’s.
>>> that the city officials, who enforced the laws, were some of his lovers. and, that a cop, no less, was assigned to have sex with larry in order to trap him in a sexual encounter… trial was fixed…
Potential bait on the hook that might separate the story from all other innumerable instances of police entrapment and rigged trials.
But it’s not in your logline.
It seems you have an abundance of riches, too many choices to cram into a logline. That’s the frustration. And the challenge. You only got 25 words, give or take. What’s the biggest, juiciest, most appealing bait you can put in the hook of the logline to make me or anyone else want to read the script?
I am not sure you need the part about being murdered for being homosexual, since Larry is murdered for standing up against the blue laws and threatening to blackmail some powerful town officials when he doesn’t get his way. Basically he’s murdered for knowing too much.
How about this:
“After a local business man is brutally murdered, a rookie female cop investigates, even though it places her in the cross hairs of the most powerful man in town who’ll stop at nothing to cover the truth.”
Hope that helped, (If this is the same script as the one on Amazon, I would consider adding an inciting incident to tell us why Larry decides to stand up against the blue laws)
Anyway, this is a great premise for a story.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
I think being murdered for his sexual orientation is central to the story. It’s central to Larry’s identity and even greater source of internal and external conflict than, hopefully, would be the case in these more temperate times.
And it seems more credible that he would be murdered for his sexual orientation than because he fought to abolish the blue laws in his state.
That seems allot to attempt to pack into a one sentence logline….Eegads!
Yep.
So what’s the better bait for the hook? The conflicts that arise from his homosexuality? Or the conflicts that arise from trying to repeal the blue laws?
When Larry “The Fudge King” Anglestand fights to rid his town of the Archaic Blue laws, he squares off against the most powerful man in town who’ll do whatever it takes to keep them.
today…i had 5 log line hits from the same production co. for this script. and 4 from another one. plus, 3 downloads. i am ecstatic. i’m telling you…because this is based on a true story – you should see the old press articles i have…IT IS UNBELIEVABLE WHAT HAPPENED TO LARRY. of course i think i have a winner here.
changed to: Exposing his homosexuality wasn’t enough to stop Larry from fighting the city’s Blue Laws. The politicians resort to murder.