Living in poverty, a neglected boy discovers the power of his imagination through reading but struggles to escape the harsh realities of his abuse.
MeekPenpusher
Living in poverty, a neglected boy discovers the power of his imagination through reading but struggles to escape the harsh realities of his abuse.
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>>>power of his imagination
Power to do what?
>>>struggles to escape
How?? What is his objective goal that will enable him to escape his harsh reality?
The logline sets up a situation for a plot, but it doesn’t follow through with a complete plot.? ?We don’t really know, have a clear idea as to what the main action of the story is.
Follow the link for? “Our Formula” at the top of the web page for the basic building blocks of an industry standard logline.
Agreed with DPG.
The crucial details of the narrative aren’t described. I’ll add that the main character’s goal needs to be clear in your logline but is altogether missing.
Poverty, Neglect, and Abuse are three different things.
Since you seem to state (At the end of the logline) that the child’s goal is to escape the abuse, then at the beginning of the logline you should give us a direct example of his abuse.
However, I would add, that a logline for a story like this is quite a bit harder to write.
Because a big part of the story is about something going on inside the kid’s imagination (Sort of like, the secret life of Walter Mitty)
On the other hand, there seems to be an outside of the imagination story as well.
This makes the logline more difficult if half your story is an imaginary story inside the child’s head and half the story takes place outside.
This is the kind of story I like, but the logline will be a little more difficult.
Thanks all!
The feedback has made me realise my “why” in the story is pretty weak.? I have an ending in my head, and the concept so far gets me there. But,?as Richiev points out, I find myself juggling many themes to get there.