Martin, a perfect square, discovers his divorce and general sense of unhappiness can be linked back to a lack lustre sex life, to help overcome his sexual inadequacies he hires a prostitute.
JasterPenpusher
Martin, a perfect square, discovers his divorce and general sense of unhappiness can be linked back to a lack lustre sex life, to help overcome his sexual inadequacies he hires a prostitute.
Share
>>>proves his real manhood
Hmm.
Consider developing an ironical relationship arc where she comes to appreciate him for what he doesn’t appreciate about himself. ?She loves him for what what he is, a perfectly square guy whom she can trust, who can provide her ?with stability and security. ?That’s what she wants; that’s what she needs. ?Score one for the squares of the world.
IOW: ?Come to find out, he was pursuing the wrong goal.
>>>I?ve checked Netflix
What Netflix, IMDB post to describe movies are called “blurbs” in the industry. ?They are targeted to a different market — movie viewers. ?Loglines are targeted to the market of movie makers. ?And movie makers ?are primarily interested in the basic plot as outlined in the “Formula” at the top of the web page.
>>finds saving grace in a prostitute
Loglines should state how a story begins — the inciting incident. ?An ironclad rule is that a logline should never have a spoiler, never give away the ending. ?Even in a general sense.
As to the premise that a crooked whore can redeem a “perfect square”, it seems to me that perhaps just the opposite is what needs to happen. ?That perhaps he needs to rescue and redeem her from the cruel, cynical heartless, and spirit crushing trade she is engaged in. ?I would hope the time has arrived when story lines involving prostitutes will do better than resort to the the ?”whore with a golden heart” fantasy-stereotype.
imho
Nir Shelter, I was thinking that she wants to get out of the industry and he has to buy her out.
If you are going to use the term “A perfect square” you should not waste it,
—–
“When a perfect square enters into a love triangle between his loving wife and a caring prostitute determined to set him free of his inhibitions, a nerdy scientist is determined to get to the lowest common denominator of his problem in order to solve his romantic conundrum.”
—–
Or something like that.
Jaster,
This latest version still fails to describe a plot, what happens after he hires the prostitute? That’s your story, not the reason for hiring her or him, nor even the act of hiring, but the complications that arise thereafter.
Think of it in terms of dramatic stakes – what’s the worst thing that can happen to a normal guy for hiring a prostitute? He could fall in love with her while she continues to regard him as a client – not very interesting.
What if he was the spiritual leader of a devout community? If his secret gets out… See what I mean? Try and position the MC in harm’s way as much as possible and in the logline describe what he must do as a result.
Thank-you ?Dkpough1 and dog for the feedback, I’ve checked Netflix and some other films I like and came up with another rendition.
A recently divorced man whose life has fallen apart. finds saving grace in a prostitute
And then what?
The logline sets up a situation for a plot but it doesn’t lay out a plot. ?What dramatic complication results from this set up? ?What becomes the ?protagonist’s objective goal? ?(Check out ?the “Formula” at the top of the web page for guidelines on the basis requirements for an industry acceptable logline.)
Also, men hiring prostitutes to put some luster in their sex life isn’t exactly an original story idea. ?In fact, in real life, it ‘s being played out in sundry variations tens of thousands of times every day. ?What is your fresh and original take (aka: ?hook) on this all too common human situation?
“Martin, a perfect square, discovers his divorce and general sense of unhappiness can be linked back to a lack lustre sex life, to help overcome his sexual inadequacies he hires a prostitute.”
If you haven’t already, check the Formula tab at the top of the page. For starters, unless it is a historical figure or a character from a pre-existing franchise, do not include a fictional character’s name, instead describe their personality, ?preferably a character flaw which they have to overcome during the story.
The logline also mostly focuses on the subjective need of the protagonist. But since film is a visual medium, every aspect of the logline she be able to create a clear visual image in the reader’s head. What is his objective goal? How does hiring a prostitute help him achieve that goal, and most importantly, how is this goal represented visually? In other words, at the climax of the film, what will the protagonist succeed or fail in doing?
Another thing, what’s the hook of the story? What will make a producer want to read the script based on this logline? It seems like a pretty standard drama to me, and even more, the whole premise is based around sex, which either means going for an R rating which decreases the audience, or going for PG-13 and not being able to include sex, which is the ‘promise of the premise’.
Frist post, any feedback is appreciated, thank-you 🙂