?Massachusetts, 1692: The leader of a coven must convince a Puritan minister to work with her to find and stop a powerful and cunning excommunicated sorceress whom she suspects is secretly behind the Salem Witch Trials.?
dho1115Logliner
?Massachusetts, 1692: The leader of a coven must convince a Puritan minister to work with her to find and stop a powerful and cunning excommunicated sorceress whom she suspects is secretly behind the Salem Witch Trials.?
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Dho1115:
Well.? Based on your comments, there are a number of issues I think you need to sort out.? First,? I suggest you have to decide who your protagonist is, the leader of the coven, or the refugee from the Puritan community?? If it’s the latter, then the logline needs to re-framed around her.
Now? then, about your original logline which tags the leader as the protagonist.? What is her objective goal?? Taking it at face value, the logline? says that her objective goal is to persuade the minister to work with her.? Is that what the entire 2nd Act is taken up with — her arguing, pleading with, cajoling the minister into cooperating?
Or is her objective goal to find and decommission the sorceress?? And getting the minister to cooperate as an ally is a means to that end?
I assume her objective goal is to find and decommission the sorceress.? Therefore, the logline should cut out the middle man , the minister, and? cut to the chase, focus on the sorceress.
fwiw
This logline is confusing – concept and wording.
If the premise is based on the assumption that there are witches in reality, it no longer relates to the Salem Witch Trials. This needs to be set in a different environment as the story would be about the authorities killing Witch not persecuting them – a real witch would presumably be able to use her magic to avoid capture or escape the trial so they would kill on sight.
I think the premise?is solid
It would help the logline draw in its reader with a specific and personal event that would set the lead character?on their course of action.
Perhaps the sister of the puritan could be accused of being a witch. (Just an example)
Side note: As I was doing some research, I found that not all the Puritans were for the Salem witch trials and there were a few religious and political figures who voiced their displeasure and I found at least one who, though he supported the prosecution of witches, did not like the way it was carried out, so I may base the Puritan minister in my logline on an actual person.