Logliner
Posted: 2019-02-27T01:41:58+10:00 In:

MY THIRD TRY: To stop a likely nuclear war among earthlings, a space alien whose race wants future control of an un-radiated planet, demands that all nukes be disassemble now or else NO electricity for a decade.

MY THIRD TRY: To stop a likely nuclear war among earthlings, a space alien whose race wants future control of an un-radiated planet, demands that all nukes be disassemble now or else NO electricity for a decade.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      While I agree with the two reviews so far, this part is revealing and seems to be real story:

      >>In a nutshell, the ET takes her human female friend to her planet where she experiences culture clashes and battles.

      Is this most of Act II?

      >>The earthling helps save her ET friend?s world

      When does this happen? Save from what?

      >> and now the ET helps to save the earth.

      If most of the story is about the woman on the alien planet and this part is Act III, then it doesn’t need to go in the logline. It may even be the denouement in the script instead of Act III.

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    2. Singularity

      I think the awkward part about the ‘alien’ being the protagonist is that the situation is this; earth must disarm their nuclear arsenal or lose all their electricity… So the protagonist would be the one who must rally the leaders of the world and convince them to get rid of their atomic weapons.

      This is further complicated by the stakes; as mentioned, the stakes are, losing electricity?for a month. In a story, the ‘stakes’ are what will happen to the lead character if they do not accomplish the mission. Therefore, since losing electricity for a month is the bad thing that will happen to ‘humans’ if they do not accomplish the goal, then the lead character by default must be a human.

      However, since this is not the case. (and since the story is written) Because the alien is the lead character, in the logline the stakes should be changed to what bad thing will happen to the lead character if the lead does not accomplish their mission.

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    3. Samurai

      If the alien is the protagonist (which is a little awkward, given that you could have a planet-full of human characters), what must she/he do during the movie? Makes demands, then what? What happens in your script?

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