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betzey411Logliner
Posted: April 16, 20192019-04-16T05:49:41+10:00 2019-04-16T05:49:41+10:00In: SciFi

Once twins find out they live powerful family and part of a prophecy, are rescued from Earth, they must fulfill their destiny to destroy the dictator.

Once twins find out they live powerful family and part of a prophecy, are rescued from Earth, they must fulfill their destiny to destroy the dictator.
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    2 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2019-04-16T07:18:24+10:00Added an answer on April 16, 2019 at 7:18 am

      The first line is confusing. Is it necessary for the logline?

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    2. Robb Ross Samurai
      2019-04-17T10:23:44+10:00Added an answer on April 17, 2019 at 10:23 am

      Yup, for starters, the language needs to be clear.

      Add specifics and missing parts. Are the twins two girls or two boys or one of each? Are they teens? Dictator where?? What’s the difficulty in destroying him or what’s the? plan? What are the stakes, what would happen if they fail?

      Is a prophecy really needed? They’re so overdone, which means it needs an especially fresh angle or twist to tell readers that this writer is being original.

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