Ladylike
Posing as a prostitute, a moral housewife penetrates the underground sex-trade in order to find her missing gigolo son.
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Whatever. It’s a good premise. However it’s definitely a R rated concept, bordering on NR-17 which may limit its box office potential.
Agree… it’s a hook… it hooked me… job well done I say
A ticking clock would be nice–greater urgency.
What if she was a successful artist or write or owned her own business rather than just a housewife? Now she’s risking her reputation and career as well as everything else to find her son. She has more to lose if she fails — or even succeeds in rescuing her son but everyone finds out what she did. More complications = more possibilities for conflict and dilemma.
A ticking clock would be nice.
What about a successful businesswoman, writer, artist or elected official who risks her career and reputation (as well as her morals) by going into the underground? That creates more conflict.
dpg:
We know she is a mother because “… gigolo son.”.
By being a housewife, this leads her to explore the unknown world
with a sheltered eye and gives rise to interesting interactions.
Remember, a good logline is about conflict.
Taking a housewife from her home into a sleazy brothel creates conflict = story.
The urgency also is naturally there with finding her missing son,
but if needed, something like: “… gigolo son before her catholic husband’s weekend baptism.”.
This gives us a “ticking clock” and adds urgency through a pressured situation full of conflict.
Hope this helps 😀
Tor
P.S. I want to clarify that I think it’s an interesting premise.
It might be a more interesting premise if a mother poses as prostitute to find and save her daughter from the slave trade.
Realize that entails a rewrite. But FWIW…
Two notes: Her defining role is not that she’s a housewife, but that she’s a mother. And spike the logline with a sense of urgency. Say, something like:
A mother must pose as a prostitute in order to penetrate the underground sex-trade and find her missing gigolo son.
What is the event that triggers the housewife to go undercover as a prostitute?
The hook is pretty clear – outside of the logline, I desperately want to know if she knew about her son’s profession before he went missing?
😀 Thank you!
<3 Can't wait to read the script !!