Professional:
The Faunus Rights Revolution is a thematically charged action and war drama, centered around a trio of young Faunus fighting to save their people from persecution, deportation, and death at the hands of Humanity. Commercial:
In the world of Remnant, the Faunus face oppression and deportation at the hands of humans. Three young heroes join the resistance to defend their people.
David PassmorePenpusher
Professional: The Faunus Rights Revolution is a thematically charged action and war drama, centered around a trio of young Faunus fighting to save their people from persecution, deportation, and death at the hands of Humanity. Commercial: In the world of Remnant, the Faunus face oppression and deportation at the hands of humans. Three young heroes join the resistance to defend their people.
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Hi David,
Check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar for more information about logline conventions.
You need a lead character (And you should give a one or two-word description of their personality)
You need a face to the bad guy (Saying ‘humans’ is very broad, you need a specific human who represents the oppression)
What is? the objective goal (Join the resistance and defend their people is vague, what specifically must they do, must they blow up a bridge, kidnap a specific leader, how will they resist)
The good news is this concept sounds intriguing
However, the logline needs a few specifics if it is to draw in the reader
So it’s about a non human specie leading a revolution against the human oppression. Trick with such films lie in the ability to make your audience empathise more for the in-human
You’ve posted your film description and tagline, but the Logline is absent. The three mandatory components (we believe) necessary for a great logline are:
? the story?s first major event or ?Inciting Incident?
? the hero?s function or role in the story
? the hero?s goal or main action in the story
After which your logline must raise this one question only — “will the hero achieve his goal?”
While your logline raises many, including — Which of the three is your protagonist? What incites them to join the resistance? & As a result, what becomes his/her objective goal?
Loglines with a fiction premise such as this, benefit from establishing the setting prior to the event-role-goal, such as — “Under human subjugation, when the mythical specie of Faunus are faced with jarring immorality, a young faun with his two close friends must ____[reach this goal/do this action]…
Although optional, It benefits greatly from an inciting incident which implies 1) the hero?s weakness/flaw (e.g. headstrong, timid, solitary, cocky, depressed), 2) an obstacle(s) and/or the Antagonist & 3) the stakes
You might wanna research Avatar (2009) by James Cameron, thoroughly. Good Luck DavidPassmoreAIE!!