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LeviathanSamurai
Posted: February 24, 20192019-02-24T12:25:00+10:00 2019-02-24T12:25:00+10:00In: Crime

Revised: A reformed crime lord is living a peaceful life until his wife is kidnapped by his former comrades, where, in order to keep her safe, he must do a list of dark deeds on numerous syndicates or watch his wife’s gruesome demise.

Revised: A reformed crime lord is living a peaceful life until his wife is kidnapped by his former comrades, where, in order to keep her safe, he must do a list of dark deeds on numerous syndicates or watch his wife’s gruesome demise.
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    2 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2019-02-24T16:34:53+10:00Added an answer on February 24, 2019 at 4:34 pm

      I’m sorry, my logline attempt isn’t very pro-active, however, I do believe it is a more streamlined version of what you wrote.
      —————————————-
      “When his wife is kidnapped, a reformed crimelord if forced complete 10 dark deeds for his former boss or his wife will be killed”?

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    2. Robb Ross Samurai
      2019-03-02T01:27:28+10:00Added an answer on March 2, 2019 at 1:27 am

      If you tweak Richiev’s logline, still consider a better sense of irony for the character.? Having been a crime boss makes him well suited to pull off dark deeds,? unless they’re different than what he used to do. A specific one or two can help paint more of the picture.

      Will the protag actually commit serious crimes or find ways around them? Different stories and tones.

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