THE PORTLAND CONDITION
Set against the backdrop of rainy Portland, Oregon, a young man finds himself falling in love for the first time – only to receive a letter from his future self, warning him of impending heartbreak.
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From a woman’s point of view, as a conceptual story idea, I think if you sharpen it up as all of the above suggest, it’s got legs for a good romance film – I would want to watch it! 😉
Some of my points will echo what’s already been said above. But, to be properly analtyical …
In essence I believe this story has the potential to have depth and wide universal connection with audiences, depending on how well the script fleshes out the two lovers and how deftly it treats the knowledge from the future angle. If there is a fresh, thought-provoking, life philosophy or theme underpinning this story, then this film could be a real winner – both artistically and commercially.
The logline hints at this potential, but does not capitalise on it. This is its first (and most important) failing. Particularly in the case of an underpinning theme, the logline could better intrigue the reader by teasing more about what big life-lesson the letter from the future provides for the young man. For example, “warning him of the need to truly know himself before he gives her his soul.” (That is, hints at it, but does not tell everything.)
Secondly, the whole “Set against the backdrop of rainy Portland, Oregon” phrase should be deleted as its completely unimportant and uninteresting compared to the great connection potential of the love and life-lesson journey.
While some may be inclined to argue that films about having a second time to right a regret have been done too many times already, I would disagree. Essentially because everyone has had the ambivalence of wondering if they could have made a past major decision better. The only proviso I have on this point is that the life-lesson being suggested is NOT one that we’ve all heard before, such as ‘be grateful for just being alive’.
In terms of improving the dramatic tension in the story, there should be something to oppose the young man from simply adopting the wisdom from his future self. The most obvious (and, in fact, the most compelling) form of opposition should come from within the young man himself. For example, if the logline initially described the young man as stubborn or obsessive or completely down-to-earth, then it would neatly set up the conflict of whether the young man is willing to believe the ‘magical’ gift of the letter from the future.
On the whole, the logline needs sharpening. But the story has great potential, so long as there is not anything trite in the script.
Steven Fernandez (Judge).
Yeah, that is a problem: what would make you believe that a message was from the future? Not insuperable, I should think, but…
As was noted, time travel is tricky. It requires a considerable suspension of disbelief. To enjoy “Looper” (2012), the most recent movie I’ve seen with that plot gimmick, I just went along for the ride and didn’t think about it.
Sorry … Looks like I’ve doubled up on the posts there… 🙂
My issue with this just lies in the believability of a letter convincing the hero that it’s actually from his future-self. If I got a letter addressed to me from what says is my future-self I’d assume it was a practical joke or some effort from an ex to deter me from the budding relationship. To freak me out it would have to be handwritten in my handwriting, but if there was no other proof I just wouldn’t buy it. The only proof that would convince me would have to come from the mouth of my future self in person… And then you’re way into the muck of the space time continuum … And that’s tricky…
But good luck nonetheless.
Cameron,
Sorry to come down so hard in previous 2 posts. FWIW: If I didn’t find something intriguing about your premise, I wouldn’t bother responding. And I do: I think your logline contains the nucleus for an interesting story. But I also think it needs polishing and focusing.
About “backdrop of rainy Portland”: Okay, it ties in with the title. But does nucleus of the story hinge on the location of Portland?
If your going for local funding and production of the story, then the logline makes sense . But if you’re going for a wider potential group of investors and talent, then I suggest a rethink. (Which is not to say the story can’t be located in Portland. It most certainly can. My remarks are only in reference to the logline.)
Is the letter the only proof he’s got that it’s actually from his future self? If I got a letter that was addreesed to me, that was handwritten in what looked like my handwriting, saying ‘Tony… It’s Tony… Get out… She’s gonna break your heart…’ my first response would be to suspect someone was playing a practical joke, most likely a jealous ex. If the letter was typed, no way I’d be believing it was future me. The only way I’d buy that my future me could time travel would be to meet myself… But your hero isn’t me, so who knows..?
Time travels tricky territory IMO, especially when involving the meeting of future selves… There’s not a lot of films that I can think of where future self meets present self… The ones that pull it off dot a lot of i’s and cross a lot of t’s. Not to say it can’t be done, just tricky… But good luck nonetheless.
And furtherless, what’s at stake?
Is the protagonist going to have his naive heart broken — but that’s life. Live and learn; life goes on? (small stakes).
Or is his first love going to have immense consequences that will destory his chances for love, happiness, a successful career, financial security for the rest of his life — the whole enchilada? (big stakes)
The premise touches upon a universal experience. Therefore, for the purposes of a logline, where it takes place (“Set against the backdrop of rainy Portland, Oregon”) is extraneous, nothing special. The selling point is a story about love, not about the weather in Portland.
Bad: “finds himself falling in love…” Better: “falls in love…”
“his future self” How far into the future? A few weeks, months, years, decades?
“warning him of impending heartbreak”. In real life, as intoxicating as it is, “falling in love for the first time” doesn’t last, doesn’t work out, for most people. So what’s the big deal about a “I-told-you-so” letter from the future forecasting what is likely to happen anyway? What’s really unique, what’s the twist?