Set in St. Louis in the 1920s, washed up baseball player Will Cosgrove is a private eye with his older brother Ross. When Ross goes missing, Will stumbles upon a deep secret that the disease taking over the town is not quite what it seems and a mob boss turned Governor will do anything to keep the town?s secret from being revealed.

One aside: I hope this is not yet ANOTHER zoombie film! (I meet plenty of zoombies in real life.)

Firstly, the word usage is inefficient here and the logline could do with some real sharpening. For example, a much more interesting opener would be: “A private eye’s brother is missing in a town ruled by a crime lord. A town that is crippled by a mysterious plague.” (Telling us about 1920’s St. Louis, as well as Will’s baseball past is all froth by comparison.)

Will’s key flaw should have been described in terms that relate directly to his private eyeing, rather than his past. It’s okay that his failed baseball career is the root cause of his weakness, but at logline level, how does his weakness compromise how he is today? For example, he could be simply described as a “disillusioned private eye”, or cynical, or alcoholic, or whatever. With such a quick description, the baseball past could be left for the script to reveal rather than the logline.

On the plus side, the implication of causation between the mob boss and the disease is interesting and a little different. Mind you, the logline could have worded this linkage far more effectively. For example, “As Will tries to track down his brother, he discovers a secret about the plague that the crime lord will kill him for knowing.”

The combination of spreading disease and a criminal governor makes for a meaty plot well worthy of a feature. If only the logline was written better to sell this quality …

Steven Fernandez (Judge).

For the most part, the loglines as they appear in the Black List are NOT written by the screenwriters themselves. From what I’ve heard, they are compiled from the descriptions provided by the voting members when they nominate the script. They are not the loglines constructed by the writer his/herself for the purpose of getting read.