SHORT: When a bank robbery goes wrong, a naive and desperate young man has 3 hours to retrieve the stolen money in order to save his grandmother?s life, while being chased by the entire police force of his small town.
gmffrLogliner
SHORT: When a bank robbery goes wrong, a naive and desperate young man has 3 hours to retrieve the stolen money in order to save his grandmother?s life, while being chased by the entire police force of his small town.
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How about this ?
When a bank robbery goes wrong and his partner is caught by the police with the bag of money, a naive and desperate young man has 3 hours to retrieve the stolen money in order to save his grandmother?s life, while being chased by the entire police force of his small town.
If he stole the money, why does he have to retrieve the money? I think an important story element is missing from the logline and it’s leaving us a little confused.
Alternative:When an old lady falls sick and in desperate need of an operation, her delinquent grandson decides to rob a bank. Complications arise when the robbery goes wrong, leaving him with only 3 hours to retrieve the stolen money while being chased by the entire police force of his small town.