Logliner
Posted: 2019-01-28T21:39:23+10:00 In:

SHORT: When a bank robbery goes wrong, a naive and desperate young man has 3 hours to retrieve the stolen money in order to save his grandmother?s life, while being chased by the entire police force of his small town.

SHORT: When a bank robbery goes wrong, a naive and desperate young man has 3 hours to retrieve the stolen money in order to save his grandmother?s life, while being chased by the entire police force of his small town.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Logliner

      How about this ?

      When a bank robbery goes wrong and his partner is caught by the police with the bag of money, a naive and desperate young man has 3 hours to retrieve the stolen money in order to save his grandmother?s life, while being chased by the entire police force of his small town.

      • 0
    2. Best Answer
      Singularity

      If he stole the money, why does he have to retrieve the money? I think an important story element is missing from the logline and it’s leaving us a little confused.

      • 0
    3. Best Answer
      Logliner

      Alternative:When an old lady falls sick and in desperate need of an operation, her delinquent grandson decides to rob a bank. Complications arise when the robbery goes wrong, leaving him with only 3 hours to retrieve the stolen money while being chased by the entire police force of his small town.

      • 0