Six reckless Hollywood archetypes go on a wild crime spree after they accidentally kill an escort in their new suburban neighborhood.
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Six reckless Hollywood archetypes go on a wild crime spree after they accidentally kill an escort in their new suburban neighborhood.
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Movie makers want stories about unique, flesh and blood people — not cookie cutter archetypes.
Do you mean Hollywood icons? Are these guys celebrity types who accidentally killed the female (or male) escort they hired for an event? Or sex? You’re not setting up a easily understood scenario. Why would an accidental death incite someone, or a group, to go on a crime spree??? Maybe their crazed state (were they drugged out) led them to irrational behavior as they thought they were hiding the accident, but they were creating more problems and unknowingly engaging in criminal activity.
I agree. ?I am writing a new one since I had to rewrite a script but I have to rewrite it to incorporate characters and overall make it better.
Your description of the characters does not draw the reader in. I would try saying it a different way. Find a unique quality that one or several of them have and add it to the logline. Otherwise if just reads, “When six generic characters go on a crime spree.”
I know. I am reviewing everything and have great moments but I need a better logline. I know.
“Six reckless Hollywood archetypes go on a wild crime spree after they accidentally kill an escort in their new suburban neighborhood.”
The inciting incident does not have causal relationship with the goal the protagonist sets. How does killing an escort lead them to the conclusion that they should go on a crime spree?
Besides that, what’s the conflict? What are the stakes? The logline doesn’t describe a plot, it describes a few events.