Instrusion
Sophie Lamport, a headstrong, brilliant engineer, accepts her dream job developing a new form of energy storage on an isolated wind farm in Northern Ontario. But on the night of a ferocious windstorm, Sophie encounters a sinister power which changes the course of her research and mental state, forever.
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>> set the film 10 years in the future when the world is on the brink of a global warming disaster…
Sheesh! What a pessimist! I’m a cock-eyed optimist; I give our 3rd rock from the sun at least 11 years. 😉
What’s the itch you’re trying to scratch? Okay, your story hooks into a too current event, the impending calamity of an over carbonated, over heated atmosphere. But what’s your dramatic point of stirring aliens into the plot?
>> set the film 10 years in the future when the world is on the brink of a global warming disaster…
Sheesh! What a pessimist! I’m a cock-eyed optimist; I give our 3rd rock from the sun at least 11 years. 😉
What’s the itch you’re trying to scratch? Okay, your story hooks into a too current event, the impending calamity of an over carbonated, over heated atmosphere. But what’s your dramatic point of stirring aliens into the plot?
I’m also thinking it may up the stakes if I set the film 10 years in the future when the world is on the brink of a global warming disaster (perhaps already flooding in coastal cities due to ice caps melting, etc.) This gives her a huge incentive to solve the engineering problem.
The logline would read: “: In a world on the brink of environmental disaster, a headstrong engineer attempts to develop a new form of energy storage on an isolated wind farm in Northern Ontario. But on the eve of a ferocious windstorm, an ominous force disrupts the course of her research and mental state, forever.”
I’m also thinking it may up the stakes if I set the film 10 years in the future when the world is on the brink of a global warming disaster (perhaps already flooding in coastal cities due to ice caps melting, etc.) This gives her a huge incentive to solve the engineering problem.
The logline would read: “: In a world on the brink of environmental disaster, a headstrong engineer attempts to develop a new form of energy storage on an isolated wind farm in Northern Ontario. But on the eve of a ferocious windstorm, an ominous force disrupts the course of her research and mental state, forever.”
To answer the first question: yes I do have a definitive answer for how the film is resolved, but I agree with you that it doesn’t need to (or shouldn’t be) answered in the logline.
To your second point about why the aliens need her… this is actually something I’ve been struggling with as well. I want them to need her, but at the same time I agree that it doesn’t make sense logically as they would have already invented the technology and if they have the ability to replace her partner, why don’t they just get him to build it?
Do you (or anyone) have any suggestions for this?
My ideas as possibilities:
1) They want her to implement the technology to drain energy from the earth before taking it form her, and having her believe she invented it will have her do exactly that (although this still doesn’t make sense if they have the ability to replace her co-worker, why don’t they replace her?)
2) Somehow the information on how to develop it has been lost and they only have pieces of it (what they give her) and she needs to fill in the rest of the details… this only works if I can figure out how/why the information has been lost… the only thing I can think of is that they are from the future and travel to the past to gather this information which is how they got it in the first place… but this may be overly complicated..
I’m sure there is a simpler answer, but I haven’t exactly figure it out yet.
Also, thanks dpg for engaging in a discussion about this with me! It is very helpful.
To answer the first question: yes I do have a definitive answer for how the film is resolved, but I agree with you that it doesn’t need to (or shouldn’t be) answered in the logline.
To your second point about why the aliens need her… this is actually something I’ve been struggling with as well. I want them to need her, but at the same time I agree that it doesn’t make sense logically as they would have already invented the technology and if they have the ability to replace her partner, why don’t they just get him to build it?
Do you (or anyone) have any suggestions for this?
My ideas as possibilities:
1) They want her to implement the technology to drain energy from the earth before taking it form her, and having her believe she invented it will have her do exactly that (although this still doesn’t make sense if they have the ability to replace her co-worker, why don’t they replace her?)
2) Somehow the information on how to develop it has been lost and they only have pieces of it (what they give her) and she needs to fill in the rest of the details… this only works if I can figure out how/why the information has been lost… the only thing I can think of is that they are from the future and travel to the past to gather this information which is how they got it in the first place… but this may be overly complicated..
I’m sure there is a simpler answer, but I haven’t exactly figure it out yet.
Also, thanks dpg for engaging in a discussion about this with me! It is very helpful.
But on the other foot, if the aliens species can travel from another star system (at some kind of hyperspeed) and they already have the technology to siphon off the energy to their home planet (again, at hyperspeed, faster than the speed of light) then their technology must be literally and figuratively light years ahead of that of homo sapiens. Wouldn’t they already have figured out how to do what the engineer is struggling to do? Been there, done that eons ago? Why do they need her?
But on the other foot, if the aliens species can travel from another star system (at some kind of hyperspeed) and they already have the technology to siphon off the energy to their home planet (again, at hyperspeed, faster than the speed of light) then their technology must be literally and figuratively light years ahead of that of homo sapiens. Wouldn’t they already have figured out how to do what the engineer is struggling to do? Been there, done that eons ago? Why do they need her?
Then that seems to present her with an authentic dilemma. And dilemma is always a good thing in drama. If she succeeds in solving the engineering problem, the aliens will exploit the technology for their own use. If she fails to solve the problem, homo sapiens and most other species on the planet are f***ed.
But then, so are the aliens. Seems like a premise for a high tech, high stakes Mexican standoff.
I’m not asking you to tip your hand for how the plot is resolved– and a logline should never do that — but do you have a firm sense of the solution to her dilemma?
Then that seems to present her with an authentic dilemma. And dilemma is always a good thing in drama. If she succeeds in solving the engineering problem, the aliens will exploit the technology for their own use. If she fails to solve the problem, homo sapiens and most other species on the planet are f***ed.
But then, so are the aliens. Seems like a premise for a high tech, high stakes Mexican standoff.
I’m not asking you to tip your hand for how the plot is resolved– and a logline should never do that — but do you have a firm sense of the solution to her dilemma?
Well, at first she doesn’t understand why the aliens have given her the visions. Then she starts to suspect that the aliens are getting her to build the technology and drain power from the earth in order to bring it back to their home planet. Simultaneously we as the audience (and the protagonist) are also wondering if the alien(s) exist at all or if she is making them up.
Well, at first she doesn’t understand why the aliens have given her the visions. Then she starts to suspect that the aliens are getting her to build the technology and drain power from the earth in order to bring it back to their home planet. Simultaneously we as the audience (and the protagonist) are also wondering if the alien(s) exist at all or if she is making them up.
What is the alien’s objective goal? What does it want in taking over the coworker’s body? What threat does it pose to the engineer?
What is the alien’s objective goal? What does it want in taking over the coworker’s body? What threat does it pose to the engineer?
Essentially she is trying to develop this new form of energy storage, working on this isolated wind farm. She encounters this ominous force (while she is driving her car to the windfarm during the stor an Unidentified Flying Object flies over the car she is in with her co-working, causing her to have an intense vision, and car accident). The “alien vision” unlocks her research (points her a new exciting direction) (positive beginning of Act 2), but at the same time she begins to suspect that her co-worker who was in the car with her has been replaced by an alien imposter, and she continues to have visions and debilitating headaches, etc.
Oh in terms of the stakes: she feels the world is on the brink of disaster in terms of our use of energy, and that in order to save the world we need to figure out how to store energy better because we have the ability to create sustainable energy through wind, but we can’t store it. The character and idea is based slightly on this: http://www.nantucketproject.com/danielle_fong_a_time_for_urgency
Notice the urgency, etc.
So as you can see, a lot of information here but I don’t think it all needs to fit into the logline… just not sure what to put in and what not. Any help there?
Essentially she is trying to develop this new form of energy storage, working on this isolated wind farm. She encounters this ominous force (while she is driving her car to the windfarm during the stor an Unidentified Flying Object flies over the car she is in with her co-working, causing her to have an intense vision, and car accident). The “alien vision” unlocks her research (points her a new exciting direction) (positive beginning of Act 2), but at the same time she begins to suspect that her co-worker who was in the car with her has been replaced by an alien imposter, and she continues to have visions and debilitating headaches, etc.
Oh in terms of the stakes: she feels the world is on the brink of disaster in terms of our use of energy, and that in order to save the world we need to figure out how to store energy better because we have the ability to create sustainable energy through wind, but we can’t store it. The character and idea is based slightly on this: http://www.nantucketproject.com/danielle_fong_a_time_for_urgency
Notice the urgency, etc.
So as you can see, a lot of information here but I don’t think it all needs to fit into the logline… just not sure what to put in and what not. Any help there?
>>> have enough of her goal in
Uh, I think not; “changing the course” is vague. By definition, the inciting incident “changes the course” for the protagonist in the plot of every story. What is the specific, unique “change of course” in this story? What MUST he do as a result of that event?
And what’s at stake? What is won if he succeeds? What is lost if he fails?
>>> have enough of her goal in
Uh, I think not; “changing the course” is vague. By definition, the inciting incident “changes the course” for the protagonist in the plot of every story. What is the specific, unique “change of course” in this story? What MUST he do as a result of that event?
And what’s at stake? What is won if he succeeds? What is lost if he fails?
Okay this is great advice.
New log line:
“During a ferocious storm on an isolated wind farm in Northern Ontario, a headstrong engineer encounters an ominous force changing the course of her research and mental state, forever.”
I’m wondering though, does this log line have enough of her goal in it, which is to develop a new form of renewable energy storage? Perhaps I don’t need to get specific and “research” as the goal is enough… What do you guys think?
Okay this is great advice.
New log line:
“During a ferocious storm on an isolated wind farm in Northern Ontario, a headstrong engineer encounters an ominous force changing the course of her research and mental state, forever.”
I’m wondering though, does this log line have enough of her goal in it, which is to develop a new form of renewable energy storage? Perhaps I don’t need to get specific and “research” as the goal is enough… What do you guys think?
How about this?
“A brilliant female engineer working on an isolated wind farm encounters a sinister force during a ferocious windstorm and fights to maintain her sanity.”
If there’s a link between the sinister force and the research project then maybe that should appear in the logline. If the two are not related then maybe they should be in order to create a unified story.
How about this?
“A brilliant female engineer working on an isolated wind farm encounters a sinister force during a ferocious windstorm and fights to maintain her sanity.”
If there’s a link between the sinister force and the research project then maybe that should appear in the logline. If the two are not related then maybe they should be in order to create a unified story.
Good advice above.
I’d add that you want to make sure you include the protag’s goal, obstacle and stakes in the logline as well. You have her goal (to develop a new form of energy storage), but the obstacle and stakes are a little vague.
What exactly is this “sinister power” she faces?
And how exactly does it threaten her? How is her “mental state” affected? Does she become paranoid that this sinister power is out to get her and/or sabotage her work? Does it cause her to lose her mind?
Whatever it is, say it. The more you can specify things in your logline, the more it enables the readers to “see” the movie in their heads and to empathize with your protag’s plight.
Hope this helps
Good advice above.
I’d add that you want to make sure you include the protag’s goal, obstacle and stakes in the logline as well. You have her goal (to develop a new form of energy storage), but the obstacle and stakes are a little vague.
What exactly is this “sinister power” she faces?
And how exactly does it threaten her? How is her “mental state” affected? Does she become paranoid that this sinister power is out to get her and/or sabotage her work? Does it cause her to lose her mind?
Whatever it is, say it. The more you can specify things in your logline, the more it enables the readers to “see” the movie in their heads and to empathize with your protag’s plight.
Hope this helps
How about?:
On the night of a ferocious windstorm, a headstrong engineer encounters a sinister power which changes the course of her research and mental state, forever.
There shouldn’t be much exposition in the logline. You kind of want to get to the heart of the story and entice the reader of the logline enough to read your story. Think of it as your elevator pitch. The more visual imagery, emotion, and action it has packed into it, the better it does its job.
How about?:
On the night of a ferocious windstorm, a headstrong engineer encounters a sinister power which changes the course of her research and mental state, forever.
There shouldn’t be much exposition in the logline. You kind of want to get to the heart of the story and entice the reader of the logline enough to read your story. Think of it as your elevator pitch. The more visual imagery, emotion, and action it has packed into it, the better it does its job.