Bad timing
CraigDGriffithsUberwriter
Spending months planning his wife's murder to make it look like suicide. A man comes home to find his wife has killed herself. He now has to prove he didn't do it.
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Good one. I’d explore that story further!
Good one. I’d explore that story further!
Comma masquerading as a full stop. “… like a suicide, a man comes home…”
Comma masquerading as a full stop. “… like a suicide, a man comes home…”
Grammar and me are far from friends. For me comma problems are common problems.
Grammar and me are far from friends. For me comma problems are common problems.
I like the irony in story idea but I’m confused, who is the protag/antag here? OK, the man is the protag, but do we root for him. Maybe if he is feeling remorse later on in the story. But now we still do not know who the antag is; it can’t be the woman because she, is described here, as a victim. We also do not have a description of the leading character(s) character(.s).
For instance;
Protag: a famous and jealous Judge
antag: beatifull woman
catalist: her committing adultery
I like the irony in story idea but I’m confused, who is the protag/antag here? OK, the man is the protag, but do we root for him. Maybe if he is feeling remorse later on in the story. But now we still do not know who the antag is; it can’t be the woman because she, is described here, as a victim. We also do not have a description of the leading character(s) character(.s).
For instance;
Protag: a famous and jealous Judge
antag: beatifull woman
catalist: her committing adultery
I was using the
Who, What they want and what is stopping them
Man, Wants to get away with killing his wife, Wife’s suicide is preventing this.
I am excited by the idea that he will have to confess to conspiracy to commit murder to prove he didn’t do the murder.
Don’t have the characters set out in my mind yet. Not even sure of the genre, comedy. drama, thriller.
I was using the
Who, What they want and what is stopping them
Man, Wants to get away with killing his wife, Wife’s suicide is preventing this.
I am excited by the idea that he will have to confess to conspiracy to commit murder to prove he didn’t do the murder.
Don’t have the characters set out in my mind yet. Not even sure of the genre, comedy. drama, thriller.
The man’s discovery of the suicide is his inciting incident all the descriptions prior to that are superfluous in the log line. You are trying to allude to the aspect of irony the story holds but in my mind it is confusing the A plot of him proving his innocence.
Whether he did or didn’t want her dead he will still have to prove his innocence after she kills herself.
Therefore if his goal is to prove his innocence then I think the loglein should describe him the suicide discovery and his trying to prove himself innocent.
i.e:
After his wife commits suicide a man must go on the run and prove he is innocent of murder.
I think the irony of him wanting her dead would be better served if explained during a pitch or in a synopsis.
Hope this helps.
The man’s discovery of the suicide is his inciting incident all the descriptions prior to that are superfluous in the log line. You are trying to allude to the aspect of irony the story holds but in my mind it is confusing the A plot of him proving his innocence.
Whether he did or didn’t want her dead he will still have to prove his innocence after she kills herself.
Therefore if his goal is to prove his innocence then I think the loglein should describe him the suicide discovery and his trying to prove himself innocent.
i.e:
After his wife commits suicide a man must go on the run and prove he is innocent of murder.
I think the irony of him wanting her dead would be better served if explained during a pitch or in a synopsis.
Hope this helps.
Hi Nir,
Why would someone go on the run after find their spouse had committed suicide? I see what you are saying, but dropping the setup I think leaves more questions and removes what makes the story compelling. There is no need to prove his innocents unless facts point to him, like a half completed murder plot.
Her death would be the twist that I would spin into the second act. As with many logline it stay virtually in the first act and hints and the path and resolution.
Hi Nir,
Why would someone go on the run after find their spouse had committed suicide? I see what you are saying, but dropping the setup I think leaves more questions and removes what makes the story compelling. There is no need to prove his innocents unless facts point to him, like a half completed murder plot.
Her death would be the twist that I would spin into the second act. As with many logline it stay virtually in the first act and hints and the path and resolution.
“Why would someone go on the run after find their spouse had committed suicide?” –
Good question, if he planned her murder prior to her suicide or not why would he be a suspect? The same plot hole exists whether or not he planned her murder as no one would know he was secretly planning to kill her. I was just trying to improve the logline using as much of your original concept.
“As with many logline it stay virtually in the first act and hints and the path and resolution.” – WRONG.
A logline describes a plot and a plot takes place over multiple acts.
An ideal log line:
Describes a MC and the inciting incident and goal – all in act 1
The Antagonist, obstacles and what the MC will do to achieve said goal – act 2
Hints at the resolution of both external and inner journey – act 3
A logline can be used to help structure a plot or sell a story depends on the writer and stage of development of the story.
If you are using it as a structure tool then you need to know what the plot is across all acts.
If you are pitching then a strong act 2 (the bulk of the film) will normally make the sale. This is because act one will hook the listeners interests but you need them to want to know more this will happen if there is a promise for a strong “more” i.e act 2. Then they will ask you to describe the concept in further detail.
“Why would someone go on the run after find their spouse had committed suicide?” –
Good question, if he planned her murder prior to her suicide or not why would he be a suspect? The same plot hole exists whether or not he planned her murder as no one would know he was secretly planning to kill her. I was just trying to improve the logline using as much of your original concept.
“As with many logline it stay virtually in the first act and hints and the path and resolution.” – WRONG.
A logline describes a plot and a plot takes place over multiple acts.
An ideal log line:
Describes a MC and the inciting incident and goal – all in act 1
The Antagonist, obstacles and what the MC will do to achieve said goal – act 2
Hints at the resolution of both external and inner journey – act 3
A logline can be used to help structure a plot or sell a story depends on the writer and stage of development of the story.
If you are using it as a structure tool then you need to know what the plot is across all acts.
If you are pitching then a strong act 2 (the bulk of the film) will normally make the sale. This is because act one will hook the listeners interests but you need them to want to know more this will happen if there is a promise for a strong “more” i.e act 2. Then they will ask you to describe the concept in further detail.
We’ll have to agree to disagree on what a logline is.
Just like most plans they leave you exposed until they are executed. He has things in place that point to him, but would have been okay at a later date.
We’ll have to agree to disagree on what a logline is.
Just like most plans they leave you exposed until they are executed. He has things in place that point to him, but would have been okay at a later date.