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Skandha SreeramLogliner
Posted: July 27, 20122012-07-27T15:08:32+10:00 2012-07-27T15:08:32+10:00In: Public

Swashbuckling adventure of Alan as he breaks out of jails and leads a wandering lifestyle until he meets the love of his life which changes his life and leads him to be a detective.

The story of Alan is one swashbuckling adventure as he breaks out jails often, indulging in petty crimes, being in disguises until he meets his love which changes his life and leads him to be a detective working directly under the police commissioner.

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    1. JVGray
      2012-07-28T22:13:44+10:00Added an answer on July 28, 2012 at 10:13 pm

      Consider a more focused approach, who is he and why is Alan swashbuckling? What world is he in that swashbucklers become detectives? “love of his life, which changes his life” is a bit clunky. You might consider more vibrant language when describing the love of his life. Maybe consider presenting a conflict, as an example – the love of his life is also the same person trying to put him back jail.

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