Redemption
MattFuziaPenpusher
Talented violinst faces two options of getting away with his suffering-playing the violin.Either follow his evil thoughts that lead him to make a radical solution or follow his best friend's escape plan.
Share
Have an account? Sign In Now
Well stated by AHSitt the logline prioritises cryptic descriptions over specific ones this works agains the clarity a logline should have.
There are also a notably large number of grammar mistakes which compound the effect for the reader making this a difficult senates to understand.
Start with the answers to these questions as a base for your next draft:
The MC is a violinist but what does he want?
What starts his story, what is the inciting incident?
Hope this helps.
Well stated by AHSitt the logline prioritises cryptic descriptions over specific ones this works agains the clarity a logline should have.
There are also a notably large number of grammar mistakes which compound the effect for the reader making this a difficult senates to understand.
Start with the answers to these questions as a base for your next draft:
The MC is a violinist but what does he want?
What starts his story, what is the inciting incident?
Hope this helps.
Sorry, this just doesn’t work for me. I’ve got no idea what is “his suffering” – apparently somehow connected to his talent. And I’ve got no idea what his choices mean. I don’t know what the problem is, nor the stakes nor what choices he faces. You obviously have a clear notion of the story so I suggest try again making the logline less cryptic.
Sorry, this just doesn’t work for me. I’ve got no idea what is “his suffering” – apparently somehow connected to his talent. And I’ve got no idea what his choices mean. I don’t know what the problem is, nor the stakes nor what choices he faces. You obviously have a clear notion of the story so I suggest try again making the logline less cryptic.