The dormant, youthful love of two hopeless romantics is suddenly ignited to life as they trade names to profess their love… and their identity.
runawayrobinPenpusher
The dormant, youthful love of two hopeless romantics is suddenly ignited to life as they trade names to profess their love… and their identity.
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This logline needs a little more. I have no understanding of the story from reading it.
Richie is right. ?It is okay to make readers wonder how the story may be executed, but you’re making them wonder what the story is. ?Could be 89 year olds, could be teens, could be aliens. ?Could be set on a fishing boat or in a castle.
There is at any moment in time about 100,000 spec scripts floating around. ?With that much choice a producer isn’t going to dig to find gold, he’ll just wait for it to float by.
Your logline would be too much hard work, no one is going to ask you to clarify.
I like what CraigDGriffiths said about digging for gold. ?With so many scripts to choose from and so little time, producers aren’t going to dig to discover gold. ?The gold has to be right there, on the surface, visible in the logline.
And I have no idea what the “gold” is in this story, what makes it special, what makes it different from 10,001 scripts floating around Hollyweird about hopeless romantics.
A logline ?should reveal, not conceal. ?It needs to be specific. ?Who are the main characters? ?What is their objective goal? ?Who opposes them? ?What’s at stake? ?What’s the hook, the plus factor that makes this story different and compelling from others of the same genre?
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When two young?women head over heels in love trade?identities?in an effort to further their understanding of?one other, ?the dark side of each girl’s family comes to light and threatens not only?the teens’?relationship but?also their lives.
Agreed with the above comments, this logline lacks some vital components.
Check out the Formula tab on the top bar for more details on logline conventions.