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stumptownPenpusher
Posted: February 11, 20152015-02-11T05:58:03+10:00 2015-02-11T05:58:03+10:00In: Public

The first female cadet at Norton Military Institute knew plebe year would be a challenge, but she never figured it would include surviving a kidnapping during which she?s very nearly murdered and then putting her life on the line to thwart an assassination plot by Cuban-Americans outraged by the President?s initiative to normalize relations with Cuba.

Plebe Year

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    16 Reviews

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    1. Lucius Paisley Logliner
      2015-02-11T06:50:59+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 6:50 am

      Read the comments on your last two attempts at this logline, I think you’re making the exact same mistakes here.

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    2. Lucius Paisley Logliner
      2015-02-11T06:50:59+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 6:50 am

      Read the comments on your last two attempts at this logline, I think you’re making the exact same mistakes here.

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    3. 2015-02-11T11:58:41+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 11:58 am

      Yeah, you’re right. I just went back and reread the old comments. Thanks for commenting.

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    4. 2015-02-11T11:58:41+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 11:58 am

      Yeah, you’re right. I just went back and reread the old comments. Thanks for commenting.

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    5. Richiev Singularity
      2015-02-11T13:05:22+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 1:05 pm

      “When she’s kidnapped and discovers her abductors plan to assassinate the President, a spunky plebe must escape and stop their plan before their actions result in WW3.”

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    6. Richiev Singularity
      2015-02-11T13:05:22+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 1:05 pm

      “When she’s kidnapped and discovers her abductors plan to assassinate the President, a spunky plebe must escape and stop their plan before their actions result in WW3.”

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    7. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2015-02-11T19:19:58+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 7:19 pm

      I think the entire fact that she is a first year is not needed.

      A military cadet must escape her captors and prevent them from assassinating the President of the United States.

      Cuba may be a huge part of your story so add that in.

      A military cadet must escape her Cuban-American captors and prevent them from assassinating the President of the United States.

      You will want to make it as quick and punchy as possible as it is an action story at heart. Everything else save for the Synopsis.

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    8. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2015-02-11T19:19:58+10:00Added an answer on February 11, 2015 at 7:19 pm

      I think the entire fact that she is a first year is not needed.

      A military cadet must escape her captors and prevent them from assassinating the President of the United States.

      Cuba may be a huge part of your story so add that in.

      A military cadet must escape her Cuban-American captors and prevent them from assassinating the President of the United States.

      You will want to make it as quick and punchy as possible as it is an action story at heart. Everything else save for the Synopsis.

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    9. dpg Singularity
      2015-02-12T07:31:36+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2015 at 7:31 am

      What is the motivation for her being kidnapped? What is the causal connection between conspirators kidnapping her and their assassination plot?

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    10. dpg Singularity
      2015-02-12T07:31:36+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2015 at 7:31 am

      What is the motivation for her being kidnapped? What is the causal connection between conspirators kidnapping her and their assassination plot?

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    11. 2015-02-12T09:59:18+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2015 at 9:59 am

      Thanks, this helps. I think I’m getting closer.

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    12. 2015-02-12T09:59:18+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2015 at 9:59 am

      Thanks, this helps. I think I’m getting closer.

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    13. 2015-02-12T10:00:05+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2015 at 10:00 am

      This is good stuff. Thanks.

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    14. 2015-02-12T10:00:05+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2015 at 10:00 am

      This is good stuff. Thanks.

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    15. 2015-02-12T10:02:35+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2015 at 10:02 am

      Good question. She’s a witness to the bad guys stealing guns from the school’s armory and they don’t like witnesses. The guns are stolen so they can be used in the assassination. Thanks for commenting.

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    16. 2015-02-12T10:02:35+10:00Added an answer on February 12, 2015 at 10:02 am

      Good question. She’s a witness to the bad guys stealing guns from the school’s armory and they don’t like witnesses. The guns are stolen so they can be used in the assassination. Thanks for commenting.

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