The ice caps have melted. The air supply is poisoned. The human race teeters on the brink of survival. One woman strives to challenge the re-emerging patriarchy. When the situation arises, how will society choose to rebuild itself?
The ice caps have melted. The air supply is poisoned. The human race teeters on the brink of survival. One woman strives to challenge the re-emerging patriarchy. When the situation arises, how will society choose to rebuild itself?
Share
Teeter on extinction, not survival, reads better. If a man or a woman leads the come back seems trivial against the stakes, the death of humanity.
As Richiev said. Film is a visual medium. So every element in a logline needs to map to a concrete visual person, object or event.
Also, the patriarchy is “re-emerging”? Since when has it not been the top dog in the gender struggle for dominance (or even equality)? Be that as it may, how will challenging the patriarchy solve the environmental problems? The logline presents the main character with a negative goal — to topple the Big Bad Boy of patriarchy. What is her positive goal,? What does she propose to replace it with? The logline punts the answer to that question to crowd sourcing (“society choose to rebuild itself”).
You should put a face the patriarchy, one person who represents it. probably a leader of some sort.
Also, you haven’t told us what sets this story in motion. You give us a problem, Icecaps melted, and air supply poisoned… then tell us the dramatic problem is the patriarchy.
If the patriarchy is the dramatic problem the story should begin with what event causes that problem when it specifically comes to the patriarchy.