The Joke
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Hi Wind,
I’m not sure if you were serious with this logline, but if you were I recommend you read the guidelines on this site?in order to better understand what is expected.
Then, you can post an updated version here in the comments.
As it stands right now, we don’t really have a character (“a guy” is too vague), and the rest of the sentence provides only a setup, an event or catalyst. Without the character doing anything, there is no story.
heist in a bar?
now that’s a joke
Sounds like he could simply walk out of the bar and be fine, no?
This is a common misconception when people believe a logline must focus on the first act and not the entire story.
At least make it a priest and a rabbi.
“When a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar only to find themselves in the midst of a hostage situation, they must use their long-forgotten?military training to take out the bad guys and save the day!!!”
See, now the punchline is the two men are, Arnold Schwartzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, two former marines who just happen to be men of God.