Evil games
CraigDGriffithsUberwriter
the seven deadly sins come to earth in human form. Than decide to compete for the soul of a novice priest with his destruction being the ultimate prize.
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cool concept, however i would make it clear the novice priest is the protagonist.. “… a novice priest must avoid corruption when the seven deadly sins come to earth in human form and wage for his soul”.
He isn’t really. He is a bit like a prize. We see his change, but we aren’t focused on his choices. He doesn’t have any agency in the story. He is a play thing I am hoping we feel sadness for him. But we don’t track his actions.
Thanks for the hint. Not sure how to get my idea a cross clearly.
What happens when the competing 7 deadly sins capture the novice priest??
Ultimate prize is not clear enough to the audience.
Spelling mistakes???
Goodluck 🙂
How about this, Craig:
‘When the seven deadly sins come to earth disguised as humans, they compete for the ultimate trophy – the soul of the world’s most altruistic novice priest.’
Hello, I miss a clear main character – even in “seven samurais” there was a main character
Dario has a point, start your logline with the protag, but don’t make him a novice.
Alex also has a point, so:
“The world?s most altruistic priest must avoid eternal damnation when the seven deadly sins come to earth in human form and wage for his soul.”
A perfect logline for me, although you can argue that the logline must describe how he’s going to fight these 7 sins in human form.
If you think about it, it is strange, “sins” turning in to “human form”. Maybe all deadly sins made by humans from the beginning of time (after Adam and Eve are kicked from Heaven) combined now take shape as 7 evil man. These evil man approach the priest one after the other to sell him:
LUST: in the form of a girl he had a huge crush on before he became a priest but could not have – no he can;
GLUTTONY: the priest gets invited to homeless shelter by the new owner running it to talk about building new shelters. While he sees the a luxury dinner that is prepared for only him, he goes and sit at the table of the homeless who eat only bread with cheese.
PRIDE: he is offered a job as a TV priest.
AND SO ON… But somewhere in the middle a bell must ring -the priest is on to them – so them trying to ‘trick’ him must become more and more subtle. Knowing this you must decide the order of the possible Sins presented to him.
For inspiration: http://www.screenplayfest.com/archives/review/unholy-swap
Uh, technically, even if the priest commits all 7, he is not in danger of losing his soul as long as he obtains absolution through the sacrament of penance. AKA: the rules per Blake Snyder.
Also, if one is going to construct a moral drama within the framework of Catholicism– the “rules” — then what is the point, the theme — what is the spiritual principle at stake? Why, according to the “rules” of Catholicism, would a just God allow this particular priest, to be the victim, the target of such temptation?
In the story of Job, Satan destroyed his Job’s wealth, his family and afflicted him with boils, it wasn’t malicious cruelty just for the sake of cruelty. And God allowed it. Because of a wager between God and Satan over an important spiritual issue.
I think Craig has said that it isn’t the priest’s story. Maybe one of the seven deadly sins could take the lead.
How about something like this:
?When the seven deadly sins come to earth disguised as humans, Lust must outwit the others to compete for the ultimate trophy ? the soul of the world?s most altruistic novice priest.?
I haven’t taken into account the technical stuff mentioned by dpg. I’m pretty clueless about all that.
This really is a modern day version of the story of Job as DPG pointed out can’t say it sounds original in any way as its been done many a times.
Lee Brooks raises an interesting alternative the story of Job told from the point of view of the devil. What if indeed the stakes are so high for the Devil and you some how (like in Little Nicky) make the devil an empathetic character?
This would be more original than the strait forward take on the same story.
Hope this helps.
Isaiah 40:28
28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary (yaga), and his understanding no one can fathom.
But what they did not know…
God got Bored
God promises 7 Fallen Angels to give them back their wings if they can corrupt the pure soul of a most promising man – a holy priest – with the 7 deadly sins reincarnated.
If the priest passes the tests he will take over Gods job and Jesus will be his right hand. This does not fall well with Jesus, who’s already waiting an eternity to take over his father?s job. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?! .
Jesus convinces God that he must become one of the Seven Sins – LUST – trying to corrupt the priest?s soul. If he succeeds in corrupting the priest?s soul, he will take over Gods job instead of the priest. If one of the 6 Fallen Angels beats him to it, bad luck!
Only question now: “But does the priest really want to be God?’
And there’s your irony.
Priest: protag.
Jesus leading antag
Fallen angels: antags
God: as God
(think of the part of the setup of the story of Odysseus)
I like this angle.
His destruction refers to the destruction of his soul by making cross a point he thought he would never cross. A point of no return, based on their particular sin.
Spelling and me, not the best of friends. Dyslexic due to brain injury, I must be the only person on earth that likes autocorrect. Keep pulling me up on it, stops me from becoming lazy.
Thanks for the feedback.
I like that a lot. Especially the detail around the priest. I want it to be a young priest. Someone fully of hope and not yet jaded or disillusioned by people. Someone that when corrupted will seem a greater lose. Bit like a puppy compared to a dog.
I haven’t started plotting yet. I think the sins may form teams against each other. And of course turn on each other etc. one main character will come clear.
Really good. The torment of him and watching their joy in his torment is the story for me. This one may never survived the stack I index cards.
I am doing a “highlander 2” and ignoring the base material. Just like vampires that glint in the sun instead of bursting into flame.
So do I
Or God has been working on man to breed a sinless soul. But he only knows he has succeeded at their death, once their life is lived. The sins are dispatched by the devil to see this doesn’t happen. Just thought of that.
Sounds good to me!