Penpusher
Posted: 2016-05-31T00:31:44+10:00 In:

The voyage to the edge of the solar system and beyond our universe starts in the Sphere of Light.

The voyage to the edge of the solar system and beyond our universe starts in the Sphere of Light.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      This logline sketches a vague situation, but it fails to do what a logline is supposed to do: describe a plot. ?It lacks the required elements of a protagonist, an objective goal, an antagonist, and stakes.

      Please consult the “Training” option at the top of the web pages for guidelines on how to construct an industry standard logline.

      • 0
    2. Mentor

      Hello, this is not a logline for me, more a ‘tagline’ or a kind of teaser.

      • 0
    3. Singularity

      Who is the lead character?
      What is the lead character’s goal?
      What is standing in the lead character’s way?

      Story is conflict. You have neither a lead character nor conflict in your logline.

      Adding a character, a goal and conflict will greatly improve this logline.

      Hope this helps, good luck with this!

      • 0