The Blue Knight
Three generations of superheroes attempt to make peace with one another against the backdrop of history.
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Sharkeatingman is (judge) Geno Scala…
“Basically the premise is that a Law and order type hero…” Well, one thing is obvious- NONE of us were even CLOSE to knowing what the premise was based on your original logline. That’s a big red flag.
I think the concept is very original- even superheroes should grow old, have families, offsping, and eventually become grandfathers. That’s a terrific hook, in my eyes. The problem, as I see it, is making it a straight drama. Not only are dramas the lowest-selling spec genres out there, it just doesn’t seem to fit with the concept, which screams hilarity and very comical situations. Can a concept where a potential son-in-law is introduced to his gf family, whose father is a CIA spy, be dramatic, with shoot-outs and car chases? Sure, but it destroys the potential comical outcome of such a situation and “Meet The Fockers” would never have realized its full potential. Now take a premise like a scientist getting bitten by a radioactive spider, then begins to turn into a spider- is there much in the way of humor in that set-up? It’s a stretch to say the least.
I like the concept, but I’d reconsideer the genre. It strikes me as an obvious generational tale on the lines of “The INcredibles”, and that’s a pretty good movie to be compared to.
How does he find it? Is he looking for it? If he is, why? What is the back story to him finding it? I mean you need to ask all these questions for all three people in order to figure out who your hero is, because at the moment you don’t have one. Who has the biggest wound and needs an arc for redemption. And then you need to create the action that will bring them together on this journey. Hope this makes sense.
He discovers a scrapbook with clippings of all his father and grandfather’s big adventures.
Well, to me it now sounds like a coming of age story, with Richard as the mentor character. What is the inciting incident that gets Paul’s son to look for Richard?
I suppose its really the grandfather’s story. To synopsize as briefly as possible, the Grandfather (Richard) gains powers from a meteor in World War II. He uses them to become a Captain America type hero. Years go by, and he has a son, Paul, but rather than follow in his father’s footsteps, the son becomes more of a Green Arrow or Teen Titans type, protesting Vietnam, speaking out against the Conservative government, etc. This drives a rift between them and Richard disappears, until Paul’s son discovers his heroic lineage and seeks out Richard for training as a superhero in the 80s.
Sorry Craig, I am more confused than ever. Who is the hero of the piece? Whose story is it? The grandfather, the son or the grandson? Just asking. Love the premise.
Original concept. I elaborated a little bit more below. Thanks for your feedback!
It is a drama. Basically the premise is that a Law and order type hero from the 40s has conflicts with his counter culture hero son from the 60s, who twenty years later doesn’t know how to deal with his own son growing up in the 80s.
Love the idea of superheros. A bit confused by the historical backdrop: is it a drama?
Is The Blue Knight an existing movie or your original concept? Forgive me, I’m not 100% up to speed with the superhero realm.
Judging from this sentence (I wouldn’t call it a logline – yet) there may very well be a great concept, but…
1. “make peace” is the opposite of makes for good drama… Before they make peace, they fight. How? What are their super powers? Why? What have they done to each other.
2. Three generations: you may be diluting the story. It is hard enough to tell a compelling tale about one character. To do three is a job for an experienced screenwriters. Are you?
3. Cut “with one another”. In a logline, every word counts.
“When three generations of superheroes attempt to reconcile with one another…”
I would like this to develop into a concise logline, with more information relating to the idea.
Good concept, look forward to seeing the improved logline : )
The elements are a bit vague. Start off a logline with “After” or “As”, then use a specific protag, a specific goal, the obstacles and the stake. Your “hook” is interesting; multiple superheroes in various times of historical events, but it needs to be more specific.
I would add something pulling/conflicting to the logline, enabling it to stand out differently to other blends of superhero films that we’ve already seen. “Against the backdrop of history”. Do they share a historical relation that goes way back to say, the Roman era or earlier later?