Three southern women defend their home from the Union army while their husbands are off fighting in the Civil War.

At a minimum we should be given some idea of the personalities of these women. (Hopefully those personalities are distinct and hopefully they are not straight southern bumpkins!) Even better would be to describe a specific northern antagonist: Who is he and how is he different to the ladies?

The logline as it currently stands is too clipped. A little bit more needs to be told to the reader to make the story concept more specific and more vivid.

Unusually, the northern villain need not be particularly nasty in this story. If he is a chivalrous gentleman, for example, that would lead to an interesting and drawn out stand off between the determined women and an officer who has overwhelming force but a moral desire to “remain civilised”. Perhaps the two sides grow to respect each other in this instance. Dramatic stakes can still be raised in this scenario when either unforgiving new orders come, or a harsh superior officer arrives.

This story can fundamentally work. But the logline needs to tell us more.

Steven Fernandez (Judge).