Penpusher
Posted: 2017-09-13T10:43:56+10:00 In:

To save his family, a former criminal profiler, with a supernatural ability that allows him to enter people?s minds, is pressured to work for the drug cartel.

To save his family, a former criminal profiler, with a supernatural ability that allows him to enter people?s minds, is pressured to work for the drug cartel.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Penpusher

      Hi folks,
      thank you all for your feedback. Very constructive. Yea I was playing around on how to best word this story and I think with the notes captured here, I have a better understanding. Thank you Foxtrot25 for the suggestion.

      J

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    2. Singularity

      What does the drug cartel need with a profiler?

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    3. Uberwriter

      If he has the power to read minds, why couldn’t he have known to prevent his family from being exposed to danger in the first place?

      Forced to work for a drug cartel, a criminal profiler must use his clairvoyant powers to free his family from harm.

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    4. Singularity

      First of all, it’s more effective for a logline to frame the conflict in terms of a singular protagonist vs. singular antagonist. ?In this case he’s (probably) going up against the leader of the drug cartel.

      Now, then: ?he has a supernatural ability to read the mess in the minds of criminals — but it’s not good enough to mess with and, hence, outwit the minds of the criminal leader of a drug cartel or any of his subordinates. (???) ?What supernatural ability does the leader have that gives him the upper hand?

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