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Posted: 2018-10-17T19:41:23+10:00 In:

Two middle-aged misfits wrestle with their selective memories as they retrace the steps of a wild teenage holiday hoping to find their dead friend?s estranged son.

Two middle-aged misfits wrestle with their selective memories as they retrace the steps of a wild teenage holiday hoping to find their dead friend?s estranged son.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Unfortunately, the premises raises questions about the back story than prevent me from looking forward to what will happen in the future.

      Like, why now?? Why after all these years — (decades?) — do they finally get around to looking for their dead friend’s estranged son?? Why didn’t they hunt for him earlier?

      And if it was a “wild teenage holiday”, then wasn’t the friend also a teenager at the time?? And if he was a teenager, how is it that he has a son? And how is it that their friend had enough time to spend with his? for the two to become estranged?? That takes years.

      Or is it the case where the friend only died recently?? If so, how? does retracing the steps of a wild teenage party decades ago? have anything to do with finding the estranged son now?

      Whatever, the time line math just doesn’t seem to compute.

      fwiw

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    2. Singularity

      “When their best friend dies, two octagenarians must track down his wild son, but following the clues is complicated by a severe case of ‘old timers’ “

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    3. Uberwriter

      Misfits is by far the most overused and pointless word in any logline. For the reader to understand why someone is a misfit and what that looks like, they must first understand what the culture and normal people in that culture look and act like.

      Describe what makes them misfits. Also why is that important to this story? They are wrestlers that immediately leave the world of wrestling.

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    4. Singularity

      AHarper84:

      Thanks for the clarification. I find the premise of a misadventure-riddled road trip/quest appealing, but the setup you have in mind seems to lack, well, momentum.? It seems to me to lack an inciting incident strong enough to push them out of their comfy inertia, energize with them with a compelling reason to go on a quest for the son.

      And, again, what are the stakes?? Why MUST they find the long lost son? What is to be gained by finding the son and telling him , in effect; “The father who took no responsibility for raising or supporting you is dead.? And he died a deadbeat drunk, so there’s not even an estate for you to inherit as a compensation for his being a derelict father.”? No doubt, the the son will be thankful to hear the tidings.? As if?

      Have you considered a setup where he may have died drunk, but he didn’t die poor?? That — come to find out? — he left a lot of money and a will designating it all got to his son.? Son, what son? And one of the two men has been designated as the executor of the will, so it’s his job to find the son.

      And then there’s the mother.? If it’s important to find the son, what about her, the victim of the one night stand?? Isn’t it as equally important to find and notify her?

      The premise in this story suggests that the quest will climax in some kind of? emotional consummation .? There will be a cathartic closure of unresolved business between a loser father and? his neglected and abandoned son.? And right now, I just can’t imagine what that might be.

      fwiw

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