Logliner
Posted: 2018-10-20T11:13:25+10:00 In:

Two recently graduated teens take a summer road trip across the country to find who they are and who they want to be.

Two recently graduated teens take a summer road trip across the country to find who they are and who they want to be.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Logliner

      It’s too broad and generic and it reminds me of several movies that have been done. What makes your story different and worthwhile? What’s special about these teens and the trip they will be making? Are they family, lovers, or just friends? Is one dying? Are they rich? Are they going by car, motorcycle, bus, bicycle? Are they traversing the USA, South America, Alaska? Do they have a goal? They want to see the Ocean, the mountains, a certain building, a person, a statue of a fallen hero?? There are so many things that can make your story unique but you haven’t used any…

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    2. Singularity

      As Mandavirmais said, it’s too broad and generic.? ?There’s nothing special that stands out, that makes this story different from all the other stories young people suffering from an identity crisis (who am I?) and an existential dilemma (What do I do with my life?)

      A logline is a concise summary of a plot.? A plot is the pursuit of an objective goal.? Objective goals are goals that can be shown on a screen because film is a visual medium .

      So what’s the visual for “who they are”? and “what they want to be”?

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    3. Singularity

      I enjoy a good road movie. However, as others have said, you are missing the hook in your logline. (The thing that will make people want to read your script.)
      That doesn’t mean there isn’t a good hook in your story, it’s just that it isn’t coming through in your logline.

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