Ladies Day
"What if a group of hard as nails criminals had to become women to rob the bookies at Royal Ascot's Ladies Day event?"
Share
Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
How’s this?
After losing everything, a desperate ex-con poses as a woman during Royal Ascot’s ?Ladies Day? in an attempt to rob a crooked bookie and win back his family.”
I agree… starting a logline with what if, seems to general, like who are you asking?
I wouldn?t write a logline starting with What if? because it really only pictures a situation, not a story.
In this case I believe you can improve the logline by answering the following questions:
1. Who is the central character in the group of criminals? Don?t do multi-protag (http://bit.ly/ONEhero)
2. How is it different from / better than SOME LIKE IT HOT??
3. Why do they have to become women? What happened? Or in other words: what is the inciting incident or catalyst of the story?
I hope this will help you in refining the logline.