Penpusher
Posted: 2019-04-06T01:45:49+10:00 In:

When 3 fatherless girls discover that their favorite pop-star is performing at their school?s father-daughter-only dance, they set out on a crazy mission to find 3 stand-in dads.

When 3 fatherless girls discover that their favorite pop-star is performing at their school?s father-daughter-only dance, they set out on a crazy mission to find 3 stand-in dads.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Singularity

      The dad’s must be filthy-rich if they can shell out enough $$$,$$$ to have a pop-star appear for a one night gig.? I dunno.

      I suggest that for the sake of emotional impact focus on? one girl’s search to adopt a father for the dance, not three.

      And, IMHO, the motive is emotionally low-wattage.? And one with rather low stakes.?

      For higher wattage in terms of motivation and stakes, I suggest, she MUST go for the most important do-or-die reason for teens:? the overwhelming need to belong, to be part of the peer group.? She? doesn’t want to be the only one in her peer group who can’t go.

      And what if, she has an absentee dad who walked out on the family?? She can’t forgive him for that and if she could she’s too embarrassed to be seen in public with the low life.? So she tries to adopt one , but …

      Your designated genre is family.? And one of the expectation of that genre is closure and reconciliation between children and parents.

      FWIW

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    2. Best Answer
      Penpusher

      This is great feedback. Thank you so much!

      • 0
    3. Best Answer
      Singularity

      I agree with dpg’s feedback.

      Also, I get the story from the logline. This is very good. Because some of the loglines I will read and I still have no Idea what the story is about.
      But your logline is clear and to the point.
      ——————————————–

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    4. Best Answer
      Singularity

      On a completely different note. This is just about story and not a logline thing.

      In one of the girl’s quest to find a surrogate dad for the dance, should actually find her real father.
      But the real dad isn’t the man she has built up in her head.

      This makes her realize how must her mom means to her.
      So she says ‘screw it’ and takes her mom to the father-daughter dance.

      When the pesky ticket collecter at the dance points out, she can’t come in because she isn’t the dad.
      The girl replies, “She’s my mom, my dad, and my best friends” and pushes right past the snotty ticket collector into the dance.

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