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Ct63Penpusher
Posted: June 22, 20222022-06-22T18:33:47+10:00 2022-06-22T18:33:47+10:00In: Student Loglines

When a best friend dies and returns as a ghost, a human girl must determine if her best friend is who she says she is.

When a best friend dies and returns as a ghost, a human girl must determine if her best friend is who she says she is.
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    3 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2022-06-22T19:51:51+10:00Added an answer on June 22, 2022 at 7:51 pm

      A: The term, ‘human girl’ is awkward, I would drop it completely. (Perhaps give us a personality trait)
      B: You should say, ‘her best friend,’ instead of ‘a best friend’ (It’s more personal)
      C: You don’t have to tell us the friend dies and returns as a ghost, since being a ghost implies the best friend is dead.

      However, despite my nitpicks, the logline isn’t that far off. Not bad.
      —–
      “When her best friend returns as a ghost, a (lonely college student) must determine if her incorporeal best friend is who she says she is.”
      —–
      btw I put ‘lonely college student’ in parentheses, but if the lead character is a high school student, or a banker, or she is ‘enthusiastic’ replace my example with whatever traits best describe the character.

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      • Ct63 Penpusher
        2022-06-26T11:37:18+10:00Replied to answer on June 26, 2022 at 11:37 am

        Thanks for the feedback! 🙂

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    2. Ct63 Penpusher
      2022-07-03T20:37:04+10:00Added an answer on July 3, 2022 at 8:37 pm

      REVISED LOGLINE: When her best friend returns as a ghost, a lonely high school student must determine if her incorporeal best friend is who she says she is.

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