When a billionaire futurist is killed, a vengeful ex-assassin is forced to confront her sanity as she fights to discover who has been manipulating her memories to make her the world?s most feared killer.
PyroclownPenpusher
When a billionaire futurist is killed, a vengeful ex-assassin is forced to confront her sanity as she fights to discover who has been manipulating her memories to make her the world?s most feared killer.
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The latest draft of the logline lacks a clear cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and goal.
Ask yourself: how does one event motivate the other?
Agreed, with above comments, how does the murder of the billionaire relate to the lead character?
Yet still, what is the connection between an innocent billionaire getting killed and your anti hero, the assassin?
Going from a hitman to an army ranger is quite a drastic change. What prompted that?
Pyroclown,
We got a lot of good things going on here but also a lot of things that don’t go well together.
First,
When a billionaire futurist is killed —
This is the inciting incident you included which doesn’t seem to link to the next part of the Logline: the MC. If the billionaire is important to the MC, then state that, otherwise, you can cut that out and just begin with the MC and her story.
Vengeful ex-assassin —
Sounds weird. A good assassin should be disciplined and almost free from emotion to be capable of doing their job.
Forced to confront her sanity —
May sound intriguing, but it’s vague and really not a special thing. Everyone has to maintain sanity on some level.
Discover who is manipulating memories… —
Here we have what I hope is the meat of your movie, the part I want to see played out. The sci-fi element mixed with the contemporary killer for money.
If she’s already a ‘retired’ assassin, then why would it matter if she retains ‘the world’s most feared killer’ title?
The assassin’s life is not a subject rarely explored, so you need to come in with a very fresh take on this genre. Hope this helps.