Posted: 2013-10-10T05:29:23+10:00 In:

When a cloning experiment by genetic scientist goes horribly wrong, the military sends their best man to clean up and avert an international crisis.

The God Complex

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    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      >>a cloning experiment
      Human, other animal, or plant?

      >> by a genetic scientist
      Superfluous. Who else would know how to do genetic cloning?

      >>>The military sends in…
      Why the military? Why not say, the NIH?

      >>> their best man
      Why not the best man… is a woman (for a change)?

      >>>clean up
      With a dust pan and mop? How, what does that mean?

      >>>an international crisis
      “International crisis” come in many forms. What exactly is the crisis?

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    2. Samurai

      The goal is too vague; “clean up and avert an international crisis” – what form specifically would this take? Does he have to destroy the lab and hide the evidence? Kill the scientist? Does he have to get the scientist out of the country before someone else kills him? Find the clone? I can’t see what your story is about.

      Why this character? What makes him a) the best man for this particular job and b) the best character for this particular story. Tells us his flaw, and perhaps we will be able to see how this journey will be one that he “needs” to take.

      “Best man” is such a waste of your word count. What about ‘most ruthless assassin’? Or ‘brightest hacker’? ‘disillusioned patriot?’ Anything but “best man”.

      How does the call to adventure and inciting incident relate to your character any more than it would any other character in the universe of your story? It’s just something that happens, it’s a job for your character … so the personal stakes are super low.

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    3. Why does it need to be best man? Maybe think about having a female protagonist to make your script original.

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    4. seems vague??

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