When a deaf surfer is clawed by a cat he begins to obsessively stalk the cat?s owner
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How can a dead surfer stalk the cat’s owner?? Or do anything else? There seems to be?a missing link of causation between the clawing and the stalking.
As DPG said, how does being clawed by a cat lead someone to NEED to stalk the cat’s owner? The connection between the inciting incident and goal isn’t clear.
Secondly the word “…begins…” should be removed as the character should just go ahead and do the action he or she does not begin to do it.
Hello, i can t see a story here, and I don t get the link between deaf, surfer, cat, stalking… why not a blind butcher clawed by a fish becoming obsessed with carrots? maybe it s surreal ceazy funny movie but as a logline it fails showing its potential. I can see itas a sketch by monty python, it just needs to be written as a story. give a sense to nonsense and your concept will be a masterpeace.