When a greiving Art Director discovers that a evil new government innitiative, threatens his Film school, he must break into the clients laborotory, destroying the alien counterparts saving S.I.F.A.- Alex P Smith

Hi Alex, without wanting to sound mean, I don’t actually want to read the synopsis. Your logline should speak for the film on its own, and I shouldn’t need supporting documentation to answers the above. I should know, from just the logline, who your movie is about, what they are trying to do, who is trying to stop them, and why they are trying to do it. My concerns above, where I didn’t understand what was going on or why, are not necessarily because I am intrigued and want to find out more; it’s because your logline doesn’t provide them for me.

I experience too many “what does that mean” moments when reading this logline for me to think “I both understand and want to see the story being described to me.”

How does a government initiative threaten the film school? In what way are they evil? Are the stakes higher than the closing of a school and danger to the character’s livelihood? How will breaking into the laboratory and destroying the alien counterparts (what the heck is this?) help to protect the school from the government initiative?

Could you give the government a face? An evil agent that becomes your protagonist? What is your art director grieving?