Penpusher
Posted: 2015-08-21T15:32:13+10:00 In:

When a jilted bachelorette seeking revenge accidentally hits a pedestrian, she refuses to forget her schemes, despite the fact the pedestrian is actually herself

Walked in front of my eyes

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    3 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      Having confusion in a logline doesn’t really work. What is the story? Try to explain the story with only information you have given. It is virtually impossible. Keep it to the basics. What does the main character want? Why? And what is stopping it.

      • 0
    2. Penpusher

      Something seems to be implied in this logline that is missing. “When a woman hits herself in an auto accident” implies a hook of some kind but it is unclear and missing context, which leads to confusion.

      Plus an MC “seeking revenge” is harder to root for, in general, than an MC seeking a clearing stated goal.

      • 0
    3. Singularity

      I’m totally confused. The logline seems to setup a story about a character suffering a split personality. But I’m not sure. And if it is about a character with a split personality, I don’t know what plot arises from that character flaw.

      • 0