Logliner
Posted: 2018-06-23T07:55:47+10:00 In:

When a local hotel hires a member on staff to be a ?professional sleeper? to test their bedding, he becomes haunted by a rusty old mattress.

When a local hotel hires a member on staff to be a ?professional sleeper? to test their bedding, he becomes haunted by a rusty old mattress.
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    6 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      Why a “professional sleeper” and not a visitor/customer?

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    2. Samurai

      Why a professional sleeper? Why not a visitor/customer?

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    3. Samurai

      Do you mean horror/COMEDY?

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    4. Uberwriter

      (Beyond the seemingly obvious relatedness…)
      “When a local hotel hires a professional sleeper” seems disconnected to “him being haunted by a rusty old mattress”
      i.e., what did he do to deserve “the wrath of the mattress” (possible title)

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    5. Singularity

      “When an entity traps him in his?hotel room, a professional sleeper must discover the beings origins if he is to defeat the malevolent?creature.”

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    6. Singularity

      This is another logline where your premise could work but the logline doesn’t.

      Stories have to have an internal logic to them.

      It defies logic that a hotel would have enough money to hire a professional sleeper, (At 10 dollars an hour that is 80 dollars a night at least) but allows guest to sleep on a rusty-old-mattress they could replace for a couple hundred bucks. (or cheaper if they got it wholesale)

      So logically, if the hotel cared enough to hire a professional sleeper, they would have already changed out the rusty old mattress

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