MEN OF SIN
Caleb TumanakoLogliner
An IDF Lieutenant has terrible visions of the world’s destruction relating to the arrival of a man claiming to be the Messiah through unexplained miracles.
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Is there a long awaited king for Israel? What does a man of god mean or look like? Is he a priest? Or a rabbi? Or a monk?
How does the arrival of a religious figure instigate the MC to take action? And what is that action? What does he want to achieve with it?
Hope this helps.
The King is the antichrist, the Man of God is from the Papacy and is The False prophet. The IDF soldier realizes this as the King of Israel ends up united going to war against every nation and overcoming them with a great military. The year is 2063. It’s heavily inspired by Kojima’s Metal Gear Solid series, just done through film and including biblical prophecy. The IDF soldier ends up assassinating the King of Israel, at which point Satan injabits the corpse of the King and is left blind in his right eye from an IED. His right arm is also damaged extensively during the blast, but with Satan now in charge and in the flesh which God allows, Satan manipulates the whole world into thinking he is god and that everyone should worship him since he has come back from the ded.
The logline is not clear, it need a serious rewriting to match your story.
You have a subject/verb agreement error here. One man ‘arrives’ in Jerusalem; two men ‘arrive’ in Jerusalem. You have to watch this because your logline suggests the man of God is Israel?s long-awaited King.
You have described a lot of detail that doesn’t proved any further clarity to the plot.
The MC is the IDF soldier this is clear but; what is his flaw? what is his inciting incident that sets him off on a journey what is the specific event that does this? What is his specific goal? What are his obstacles? What are the stakes? Will Satan bring hell on Earth? What will happen if he fails or succeeds?
Best to deal in specifics for the sake of your logline clarity.
Other wise regarding the concept I know that most Israeli people are not awaiting a king of any kind. There is no monarchy in Israel and the majority of the population are not religious and do no believe in a messiah. Further there is no anti-christ in Jewish theology as it is a christian figure Satan as well plays a very little part in Jewish beliefs and is far more prevalent in christian ones.
If what you are interested in is the combination of religious and military themes then perhaps best to use a lesser known main stream religion such as Sikhs in India. The reason is most people would know a lot about Judeo-christian belief systems and narratives. As a result they may not appreciate the superficial treatment in this concept that combines such a broad array of subject matter and references to benefit the writing.
Well, I have studied the Scriptures and it all points to the coming of the Son of Perdition AKA the antichrist. My story centers around an IDF Lieutenant who realizes this and employs a secret group to take him out. It’s a story best suited for a novel or a video game so I would love to try to fit this into something like a television series for HBO.
The false prophet and the antichrist are both mentioned in Revelation, but it’s just my interpretation of it after my two years of serious studying.
>>> coming of the Son of Perdition AKA the antichrist
Then why aren’t those terms in the logline? I am quite familiar with what the book of Revelations says, but I would never have figured out what your story is really about from the logline.
I think i really rushed into it.
Now, with advice, I’m going to change it.