logline
When a man\'s world is shattered by a tragic accident, He will have to learn to be strong and fight or risk losing everything.
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What is the everything he has to be strong for, his family, his wife, his home, his business that everyone depends on him for? Who is he, what did he do before that the accident has taken away or threatens to take away?
Please be more specific:
What is the “tragic accident”?
What is the “everything” he “risks losing”?
And rather than “learn to be strong and fight”, all you need say is that he has to fight (or struggle). It’s implicit that he will learn to be strong as he struggles.
Thank you for your comment, I just didn’t want to give too much away so the film would be more appealing.
Okay, but loglines are littered with “tragic accidents”, replete with characters who “must learn to be strong and fight, well-stocked with “everything to lose” stakes.
What is there about your story that makes it stand out from the herd?
This is my first screenplay and logline, so I am trying different ideas for the logline. I do believe that the dialogue, the events that happen due to the accident and how the audience will be able to connect with the characters will stand it apart from the herd. I do appreciate any advice you can give me on how to make my logline better as this is my first try.
I have been asking for specifics because writing loglines is not a poker game where you hide your cards until the call and then show your winning hand. It’s an exercise in salesmanship. Which means that in the logline itself you need to offer readers something specific, interesting, different that will grab attention, hook interest.