When a planet in another galaxy is faced with annihilation, a plan hatches to have Franklin, an ordinary boy with extraordinary abilities from earth, help save the planet from destruction from the evil being known as Xero.
omac092627Penpusher
When a planet in another galaxy is faced with annihilation, a plan hatches to have Franklin, an ordinary boy with extraordinary abilities from earth, help save the planet from destruction from the evil being known as Xero.
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I like Nir Shelter’s notion that the boy is kidnapped.? Furthering the concept, why not it be the case that there is nothing extraordinary about the boy as is growing up on planet earth; everybody thinks he’s a loser.? So why would they kidnap him?? Because he has latent abilities that only become manifest on the other planet.
Having that as the core concept– the hook– might have the makings for a good sci-fi, coming-of-age story.
fwiw.
Hello,
don’t forget to avoid names in the logline, names means nothing.
https://loglines.org/howto/
Consider the logic flaw proposed in the first post by DPG. Why would a boy with, super powers of some sort,? go elsewhere to solve problems when he could easily be needed to do the same here?
Perhaps they need to kidnap the boy, essentially leave him no choice? Other wise the basis of the concept make little sense.
Regardless the logic flaw, best to describe the story elements in specific terms – What exactly can the boy do? What are his abilities?
Lastly, it sounds like when told from the boys point of view the story is more interesting than from any other character’s. If indeed he is the main character, best to re draft the logline to reflect that. In order to do this, the logline will need to describe (in specific terms) what sets him off on his journey and what his goal is.
What’s at stake? ?Why must this kid be dispatched to another planet in another galaxy? As if there aren’t any problems we could use this kid to solve on this planet in this galaxy? ?If Xero poses no existenital threat to planet earth, why must the kid ?meddle in in affairs in a universe far, far away?