Logliner
Posted: 2015-09-17T09:07:21+10:00 In:

When a policeman is murdered by a bikie gang, a disguised woman tries to dispose of the body, but she must convince the drug addicted pilot of her crashed plane, to hide the body before they can be rescued.

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    5 Reviews

    1. Uberwriter

      Surviving a light plane crash a disguised woman must convince the drug effected pilot to hide the body of the dead cop she was transporting before they are rescued.

      I don’t like disguised I don’t think it adds to the story.

      • 0
    2. Penpusher

      Not sure what is the inciting incident – the one thing that starts the story. Is it the murder of the policeman? The woman disposing the body? Or the woman convincing the pilot to hide a body?

      After that is sorted out. Who is the MC? The pilot or the woman? What is she or he is trying to do? Get rescued? Wouldn’t any plane crash bring resuers on the scene?

      The pieces don’t connect to produce a coherent story. I think you meant:

      “After a woman murders a policeman she must hide the body in order to avoid going to jail.” (18 words)

      Isn’t that any crime story? I think you are hiding the ball.

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    3. Mentor

      Hello,
      this writing seems to me a little messy, you should put the things in order to make it a better read.

      • 0
    4. Logliner

      An update
      Trapped in the wreckage of a light plane, a disguised bikie moll must convince the drug effected pilot to hide the body of the dead cop she was transporting, before they are rescued.

      • 0
    5. Logliner

      Thanks for you thoughts.
      Trapped in the wreckage of a light plane, a disguised bikie moll must convince the drug effected pilot to hide the body of the dead cop she was transporting, before they are rescued.

      • 0