Penpusher
Posted: 2016-04-20T02:25:14+10:00 In:

When a popular Irish family starts a brawl, a drunken priest nearly loses his shady Bingo game; clashing with a theatre and its gay producer in the same building, he turns the game into a New Religion.

When a popular Irish family starts a brawl, a drunken priest nearly loses his shady Bingo game; clashing with a theatre and its gay producer in the same building, he turns the game into a New Religion.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Mentor

      Hello,
      maybe you should focus on the basic elements of a logline (main character, inciting event, goal, stakes).

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    2. Singularity

      I’m not sure ?how all these events causally concatenate to form an inciting incident even though it’s billed as a comedy, a genre where chaos can be the norm. ?Be that as it may, the logline sets up a situation for a 1st Act, ?but fails to give a through line for a plot for the 2nd and 3rd Acts.

      What happens in the 2nd Act???As a result of the drunken priest creating a new religion, what becomes the dramatic conflict and problem that drives the rest of the story? ?Who opposes the new religion? ?What are the stakes?

      I suggest checking out the “Training” option at the top of the web page for guidelines on how building an industry standard logline.

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